W hitman's swim teams

have high hopes to fin ish

in the top four in the Con­

ference Cham pionship this

weekend.

February 7, 2008Volume CXXIi.......Issue 2Walla Walla, WA

w h i t m a n p i o n e e r . c o m

Hypnotist

Snow makes road traveling dangerousby Margaux Cameron

staff writer

Nearly two weeks o f snow and ice in Walla Walla and across the Northwest were more inconvenient than fun for those on the roads. For many Whitman driv­ers, the weather was even dangerous, both for inter­state and local driving.

Sophomore Obreanna McReynolds, vice president o f education for Whitman’s chapter o f Kappa Alpha Theta, attended a Theta district leadership confer­ence in San Mateo, Calif. McReynolds and seven other Whitman Theta officers left on Thursday, Jan. 24, driving to Portland to catch their plane. Returning to Portland on Sunday, Jan. 27, they faced over 240 miles o f icy roads.

“We had to buy chains for the cars, and none o f us had ever put them on before,” said McReynolds. “We got on the road at about 7 or 8 p.m., and it was dark, icy, and snowy. All the cars were traveling at about 20 miles per hour.”

The two cars made it to Hood River, Ore., about 60 miles east o f Portland, before one got in a car wreck.

“The car spun out and swerved to the left,” said McReynolds. “We hit a minivan going in the opposite direction head-on. Luckily, both the cars were going so slow that no one was hurt and the car wasn’t too damaged.”The Thetas spent the night at a hotel in Hood River

before driving back to Walla Walla Monday morning.Senior Sarah Golden had a similar experience return­

ing from a debate tournament at Western Washington University the same weekend. Golden drove her own car back from Bellingham with three teammates, leav­ing around 1 p.m. on Monday, Jan. 28.

“It should have been a six-hour drive,” said Golden in an e-mail. “Instead, it was an epic 12-hour car ride.”

Golden drove a Toyota Corolla without winter tires or chains.

“At one point, there was a 75-mile stretch o f inter­state lined with cars that had skidded o ff the road,” said Golden. “At times, we were traveling at 10 mph.”

The rest o f the debate team, which left Bellingham at 10 p.m. that night, made it as far as Kirkland, Wash., one hour away, before stopping for the night.

City streets were dangerous as well in the icy weather Sophomore Miyoko Patricelli was driving four friends on 9th Street, on Saturday, Jan. 26,.when her Chevrolet Aveo hit a patch o f ice.

“I could feel that the car was on ice before it went ofl course, but I had no control over the steering,” saic Patricelli. “It was terrifying.”

The car hit the curb and rolled along the side o f the street.. “I managed to guide into a comer parking lot, ther turned into a side street,” said Patricelli. “I drove the rest o f the way back to Whitman very slowly.”

Patricelli’s front wheel was damaged beyond repaii by the accident. The replacement fee was estimated tc be around $300.

“The streets in my hometown don’t usually ice ovei in winter,” said Patricelli. “It’s really lucky that no one was hurt.”

Rich Jacks visited the Sigma

Chi House last week to show

off the art of hypnotism .

Pg- 5

Martial arts

A regional karate tourna­

ment w ill come to Walla

Walla Com m unity College

this week to face off and

show down.

Pg. 8

News 2-4AftE 5-7Local News 8-9Green Pages 10-11Feature 12-13Opinion 14-17Politics 18-19Sports 20-21Life 22-23Humor back page

Swim team

2News Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Attempted Jewett ÌB burglar Sentenced to nearly 12 years

by M e lis» Navarro

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dow íita! saw tki ? lady 1><dug holdi . thinks that fheit posses dons havedown, p m  i k’k&& It wi" ti been stolen so theat doni callcuing said Jfr!': wear jèwert resi- f 'i&ty on Studenti; ge i eoroplai'citidents 1 ÌsC/ÌV Bi *(£R 'and get a 1hlsc M nsc

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Amanda - barren, J H " , pleaded guilty on B in '! o£ six crimes

including the three counts of ’assault,

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fipm the Whitman c ¿mpu* me Jem Officials said thar

■ r« ..e .i also hit ViaHa Walla lY.ive-- sk| m f'i>!le*gc Flatt multiple times be • f<>re her ti.ial stop in

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Ii f c e r she ge‘is oat."I said McKinnon.

H ie added t-Bat tin prosecuring attot- '

Jim Nagle, was going c in 1 i i i 1

¡against her:‘ f-be-was looking at m i a 16-year

tom ■ ii if thev took her ' tout* on everything," said McKmnon

¡Since 3fU)t, Warren has had five conviction*.

\ plea bargain svas k ■■ allow 'e . .n 12 u-> i pifs i J e pled guilty 'ii srs or the 17 eiunee Tl« l-ieidtr l m lessen was a dear case in which most of the charges acre drawn ftp WVr<n pled guibi to the six crimes and was ordered

Ibj Walla Walla County Superior Cocif judge Donald Wr sih atht 'o

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“O er8Qpercent qj ; ail thefts-that omît

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comptaient and pet a false sense of secu­rity because it feels like burnt here and at hom yon don !

-Craig McKinnon

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o r iffe d s Hife'hnÌB» her« a a d at home you done Jock-your room*” said

ifrg . thè;: tiTiporrascê o f r.àkîfig: basic safety:

F o r the 201)8 Resi­dence Irne training! M cKinnon lectutec) I the new staff a b o u t. inform ing fsâjow students about ri», danger s o f leax mg 1 1 doors unlocked or wide open, pointing out »he possibility p I s i I N 1 1

cy TavcJh, associate dean o r srudems I agreed and empha­sized the Amanda VU ■ a lticideni should have been a wake up call fav elli Said that ■

. ' lias seen ahd heard o f ¡¡¡e fts happening around campus, but said th.i Warren was different

‘’She's kind ol an anomaly She a a tir -addi ni r i i lina] Ihstory,” said TavclH.

According to a reperì from the Walla Walla thum -ÈnÎiettni Warren i| s a meiliampheramine addic 1».¡¡[A i least she's o f f our street*. It saves a hit o f people pain and sut- ■ fm g ,” M cK innon said.H i view c f minai aetivitie« and ¡up to tfv e incidents rcporrtd by gei-pus sec urity, go lo dailysecu- jjy log .vord p ress com J lS £ 3 § | s

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Tunnel examines stories of oppressionby Gillian Frew

staff writer

Oppression is not always obvious. That is one o f the key messages that the Inter- cultural Center hoped to portray with the Tunnel o f Oppression, a student-produced exhibition that took place on Saturday, Feb. 2, in the basement o f Prentiss Hall. Stu­dents who attended the event were led on a guided tour through eleven vignettes, each portraying different scenarios in which prejudice or assumptions played a role.

“[They were all] actual accounts o f what happened here, on campus.. .the names have been changed around but the stories have actually happened,” said first-year Chelsea Marks, who participated in the Tunnel of Oppression. “Several students submitted things that had happened to them, and that’s how the script got created. When I read it the first time, it was just so shocking that that actually happened here.”

The vignettes featured incidences of rac­ism, date rape and religious and political intolerance at Whitman, along with less talked about issues such as sexuality and male body image .

“The students [wrote] the script, so they’re drawing on their own experiences or the experiences o f their friends. So to me, the tunnel exposes the salient issues for people on campus or people their age,” said coun­selor Tracee Anderson, who facilitated the debriefing sessions for students coming, out o f the TunnelJunior Musa Kpaka, who acted in the

Tunnel as a first-year and directed it the following year, served as tour guide, lead­ing groups o f students through the dark­ened basement and shining a flashlight on performers as they delivered their lines.

“The way Prentiss is set up, it’s kind o f the perfect environment for it because there’s a lot o f doors and it just gives the illusion that it is a tunnel,” Maries said.

As students descended into the make­shift tunnel, a pre-recorded voice track screeched various ethnic slurs and other derogatory terms.

“It gives you a feel o f all the insensitivity, though that’s the more obvious insensitiv­ity,” said first-year Patricia X i in reference to the recording. X i also performed on Saturday. “The skits were a little more sub­tle than that And we liked the subdety of the skits because it made you actually think about it We didn’t really want it all to be a blunt, in-your-face kind o f thing.” .

The Tunnel o f Oppression is a long stand­ing tradition at many colleges and universi­ties around the country. Each school takes a slightly different approach to confront­ing oppression. The Intercultural Center, which is responsible for organizing the event at Whitman, has recendy shifted the Tunnel’s focus from broader instances of oppression to those specific to the Whit­man campus.

“When the tunnel started many years ago, the focus was very general about issues around the country, around the world, but now over the past three, four years, we’ve focused it on Whitman-related issues,” said Mukulu Mweu, the associate dean of students for intercultural programs and services. “So it hits home, I think, more. It seems to resonate with people. After students have gone through the Tunnel, I hear comments such as, ‘Wow, I really never thought that these kinds o f biases and hateful things happen right here on our campus.”’

X i agreed that narrowing the focus to in­teractions among Whitman students was effective in delivering the Tunnel’s mes­sage.

“I think if you [approach oppression] too generally than people will do the whole ‘Well, it’ll never happen to me’ kind o f thing, but if you make it so it’s actually like, ^es, this happened at your college, by the way,’ it’s like‘Oh, never mind. It can hap­

pen to me,”’ X i said.A number o f participants pointed out

other ways in which the script has evolved over time, expanding to include forms of oppression that seem harder to recognize or that occur beneath the surface.

Anderson, too, described the benefits of having a more dynamic range o f material

“I’ve seen changes in the tunnel over the years. For example, when it first started it had fewer scenarios about the wide va­riety o f different types o f oppression and mainly addressed the more ‘common or obvious’ forms o f oppression, but over the years it has expanded to show the more subtle types o f oppression that people ex­perience, and I think that’s been a really positive thing.”

Mweu said that the Intercultural Center tries to change the scripts fairly frequently, but that this year’s script required little al­teration because most o f the material was new.

Although planning for the Tunnel had been underway since last semester, many o f the students who performed in this year’s Tunnel were new to the project X i and Marks both got involved through their participation at the Intercultural Center, though Marks added that the event was open to all students who wished to act in it

“We sent out a lot o f things on the list- servs... So it’s not only exclusive to the Intercultural Center,” Marks said. “The main thing that we’re trying to do is get people to help with it”

The Tunnel attracted a steady stream of students during its four-hour run. Ander­son reflected on students’ impressions of the Tunnel and the issues it raised.

“Every single person that comes through has an ability to better recognize the sub­tlety in the way we interact around sensi­tive issues and issues o f diversity, and that’s really important to pay attention to,” An­derson said.

Whitman weighs in on endowmentby Kim Sommers

staff writer

On Jan. 25, the New York Times printed an article stating that the Sen­ate Finance Committee was requesting financial information from the 136 wealthiest colleges and universities. The committee is par­ticularly interested in how these schools spend their endowments, and is currently considering requiring some schools to spend up to 5 percent of their endowment annually. This potential requirement would most likely not affect Whitman, whose endowment was $390 million as of June 30,2007. However the Finance Committee’s de­mand illuminates several key issues among the broader education community.

In the New York Times Sen. Charles E. Grassley from Iowa, ranking Republican on the committee, spoke o f the committee’s intentions, saying, ‘‘Tuition has gone up, college presidents’ salaries have gone up, and endowments continue to go up and up. We need to start

‘ seeing tuition relief for families gp up just as fast”

Concurrent with most other college and university administration’s opinions, Whitman President George Bridges expressed his dislike of the proposed requirement

“I don’t like the idea o f schools being required to in­crease endowment spending because they used their en­dowments for different purposes, but I do like the idea of finding new ways to reduce or at least cover the costs of education,” he said.

Whitman follows a spending plan which allows for 5 percent of average growth o f the endowment calculated on a trailing average. Whitman’s Treasurer and Chief Financial Officer Peter Harvey ex­plained the calculation, saying, “We use 12 quarters to stabilize the formula for how much income comes out, and given that the in­come comes out to pay for faculty salaries and student scholarships; we don’t want the amount fluctuating very much if we can help it”

The Senate Finance Committee examines schools’ endowment spending based on one market point per year. I f Whitman adopted

’ -contm uedonpaged-

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer News3

Seniors strive for commencement honors, awardsby Eden Essick

managing editor

Honors awarded to graduating seniors are “like the whipping cream on top of your sundae, with a cherry on top,” said Registrar Ron Urban.

Honors in Course and Honors in Ma­jor Study are two o f the most prevalent at Whitman. While the college awards Honors in Course based on grade point average, the requirements for Honors in Major Study “is definitely a more subjec­tive process,” said Urban.

“Honors in Major Study has a far less transparent process, a far less predictable process than Honors in Course,” he said.

Honors in Course are based entirely on grade point average. These include: summa cum laude, awarded to students who have achieved a GPA of 3.90 with no failed courses; magna cum laude, award­ed to those with a GPA of at least 3.80 and no failed courses; and cum laude,

■ awarded to those with a GPA of at least 3.65.

O f the graduating class o f 2007, 5.4 percent received summa cum laude, 8.3 percent received magna cum laude and 20.2 percent received cum laude. All three honors have seen increases in the past three years; 24.9 percent o f the class o f2005 received one o f the three honors, compared to 33.9 percent o f the class of

2007.By contrast, Honors in Major Study are

awarded to students who demonstrate “unusual ability” in their field. An honors candidate must have a GPA of at least 3.30 on all credits earned at the College and a 3.50 GPA in the major. Furthermore, he or she must earn at least an A- on a writ­ten thesis or project “prepared exclusively for the satisfaction o f the program”-and pass with distinction on the senior assess­ment, usually a combination o f a written and an oral exam. Twenty-three percent o f the class o f 2007 received Honors in Major Study.

What makes theses or other forms .of comprehensive exams honors-worthy is up to the professors. Whitman operates under “faculty governance,” said Urban, and there is no oversight o f honors stan­dards.

Matthew Prull, chair o f the psychology department, said that often it’s hard -to quantify what constitutes an honors the­sis or passing orals with distinction.

“You know it when you see it,” Prull said.

But Prull added that the process wasn’t perfect

“One can’t help but make compari­sons,” said Prull. “We have to keep in mind the limitations [of the process], par­ticularly with a thesis. Often we’re com­paring apples and oranges.”

While some students must complete ad­ditional requirements'in order to gradu­ate'with honors, other departments sim­ply hold honors candidates to a higher standard on the same requirements as other majors.

“The reason I went for honors was be­cause all I had to do was write a better thesis,” said senior anthropology major Wes Madock. “We already have to write one to graduate, so o f course I’d go for honors.”

Meanwhile, honors in history involves a ‘considerable amount o f extra work. These candidates must write a thesis o f about 100 pages and pass one o f two writ­ten exams and oral exams with distinc­tion.

“The honors track in history is a lot more challenging than some other ma­jors, since it truly changes the course of your senior year by pushing you to take on the additional project o f the history thesis,” said senior history major Anne Conners.

“I haven’t ever complained about the discrepancy among the majors, because I am not pursuing honors for it to be written on my diploma, but more for the personal challenge o f writing my thesis,” Conners said. “I decided to pursue hon­ors because I would be able to work on my own project and research a subject that I find particularly interesting, rather

than going through the motions o f class- work.”

Thé psychology department awards honors after theses are turned in and oral exams are conducted, rather than requiring students to apply for honors Candidacy in the fall semester like most departments.

“It’s hard to gauge honors candidacy based on preliminary work done at the beginning at the year,” said Prull. “De­termining candidacy before a student has turned in a fully written academic prod­uct is more of a judgment call. It’s more clear at the end of i t”

For some, the extra effort for Honors in Major Study is more trouble than it’s worth.,

“I f it’s important for the individual to achieve honors* and we are confident that they can achieve it, then fine. But we don’t encourage anyone to undertake the stress associated with honors. l ib ­eral arts education should be more bliss than stress, no?” wrote Dennis Crockett, chair o f the art history department, in an e-mail.

Nevertheless, both Honors in Course and Honors in Major Study carry weight post graduation. These honors are cre­dentials on a graduate’s résumé, Urban said, and can keep someone in the ap­plication process longer when seeking employment.

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Fraternities, sororities set different goals, change alongside Whitmanby Karlls Rokpelnis

staff writer

Whitman fraternities have the goal o f half the stu­dent body affiliating with a greek group.

According to Chase Cooper, president o f the In­terfraternity Council, an umbrella organization o f the men’s fraternities represented on campus, and member o f Tau Kappa Epsilon, the fraternities are well on their way to reaching this goal within five to seven years.

“That level o f involvement is needed for the long­term solvency and viability o f the greek system, and we are very satisfied with the recruitment and re­tention rates,” said Cooper.

Thirty-seven percent o f the male students this year are affiliated with one o f the four fraterni­ties, up from 30 to 35 percent a few years back, but much below the 80 to 90 percent in the 1970s. The three sororities currently count 27 percent o f all fe­male students as members.

“Essentially, the whole campus used to be greek, the remaining 10 percent forming an informal in­dependent fraternity,” said Andrew Stokes, a T K E and the Interfratemity Council recruitment coordi­nator for the last year.

“Many o f the college’s Trustees are worried about the drastic fall in participation,” said Rachel Wal­lace, recruitment coordinator for Panhellenic As­sociation, the umbrella group for the sororities, and vice president o f Kappa Kappa Gamma' sorority.

“They value their membership with the organiza­tions and want to see them strong.”

Each fraternity and sorority is a chapter o f a na­tional or international organization, simultane­ously self-governing and subject to the centralized rules. Whitman greeks are not different from other schools, only smaller, according to Barbara Max­well, associate dean o f students and advisor to Pan­hellenic and the IFC.

There are major differences between the way fra­ternities and sororities are organized. “They are like apples and oranges,” said Maxwell, referring to the role central headquarters play in the recruit­ment practices o f the greek groups.

The sororities are led by the National Panhellenic Conference, which sets a quota for the number of students eligible to be accepted each year. Based in living space capacity and other requirements, the quota is divided equally and each sorority can ac­cept 28 new members this year.

Most o f the new members are attracted in the fall during a formal recruitment week, which is organized by all the sororities and coordinated by Panhellenic. Interested students are required to rank their preferences for sorority membership and sororities rank the applicants. A committee consist­ing o f the sorority faculty advisors and Panhellenic representatives review these rankings and match

' applicants with sororities. Each accepted applicant receives a membership offer, known as a “bid,” from one sorontv.

“The fraternities do not have the kind o f institu­tionalized parity the sororities do,” said Cooper. A potential member can receive bids from all four fraternities. The IFC coordinates the recruitment events and practice, but only to eliminate what Cooper calls “dirty rushing”— consumption o f al­cohol and unfair competition between the fraterni­ties.

“Twenty years ago the rushes were a lot more fo­cused on uncontrolled partying and excesses,” said Cooper.

“Whitman is changing quickly and the greeks have to change along with it,” said Cooper.

The IFC has recently reworked its constitution and the rules for recruitment.

The sorority recruitment is very structured, while men’s is more autonomous, according to Maxwell. “The women could not go river rafting even if they wanted to, due to national organization liability concerns,” she said.

The difference extends to language. While all so­rority official communication uses only the term “recruitment,” fraternities also use “rush.”

“We avoid the word ‘rush’ because o f the negative connotations associated with the term stemming from films like ‘Animal House ”’ said Wallace.The Panhellenic concluded a situation study last

year and has also initiated a plan to increase mem­bership.

“Our ultimate goal is to reestablish a fourth soror­ity,” said Wallace. The Whitman chaptpr, p f Delfa

Delta Delta was “pulled,” the official term for ter­mination, by Delta Delta Delta Headquarters in the spring o f 2005.

Filling the existing sorority houses is a prerequisite for the National Panhellenic Conference to autho­rize the process o f establishing the fourth sorority.

After accepting a membership to a fraternity or sorority, known as “pledging,” the new members undergo a period o f preparation for the full mem­bership. Whitman College mandates this period to be at least a semester. Seventy-four men and 76 women pledged this fall.

Between pledging and becoming a full member, known as “initiating,” the new members can decide whether the particular group is right for him or her. Membership can be cancelled, known as “de-pledg- ing.” According to Wallace, this year sororities lost two to three members each, mostly due to friends being separated by joining different sororities. “We also have to bridge the Anderson/Jewett divide,” said Wallace,

I f there are spaces available after the new members are initiated, which is a requirement for residence in a house, membership bids can be offered to non-af- filiated students outside the fall recruitment period. Fraternities do not organize formal spring recruit­ment, but offer bids if they encounter an appropri­ate candidate.'

Sororities have scheduled common spring recruit­ment late in February. Sign up for the events will

4News Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

LO O K IN G B A C K : Waillatpu yearbook thwarted due to lack of committed staff

by Brennan Jorgensen staff writer

For 100 years, Whitman College published an annual year­book. Entitled W aillatpu, after the original W hitman mis­sion, the yearbook existed from 1907 to 1997. W hile many students have expressed interest in owning a yearbook, no one seems willing to take on the commitment required for its creation.

Associate Dean o f Students Barbara Maxwell did not think it was a lack o f interest that killed the yearbook, but rather that the college was simply unable to find a full time staff willing to participate.

“Whitman students want to do a lot o f different things and are not typically interested in picking one thing that takes all o f their time and all o f their energy,” said Max­well.

Many schools o f Whitman’s size have forgone the year­book as well. Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Ore. and W illamette University in Salem, Ore. have both failed to produce a yearbook for the past few years. Whitworth College in Spokane, Wash., however, has adopted their yearbook as an one-credit activity course, providing stu­dents with greater incentive to participate.

“The coolest thing is digging up old yearbooks and see­ing how the school used to be. I f we had one, I ’d buy it,” said sophomore Alex Graves.Archivist and Special Collections Librarian Michael Pau-

lus thinks it is unfortunate for current and future students, as well as alumni, to not have a yearbook. When students come back for reunions, Paulus is unsure o f what artifact they will have to look back On.

“To not have something as concrete and focused as a yearbook creates a lamentable gap in the record,” said Paulus.

A yearbook provides a reflection on the college and what students xlo 4n* their regular lives. W hile the physi­

cal book is no longer being created, it has arguably been replaced by other media. Some students feel that Facebook and MySpace have in ways taken on the role o f recording events through pictures and messages.

“The fact that people like to take pictures and keep track o f themselves hasn’t changed, but the way people are doing it has changed,” said Paulus.

Facebook, however, is constantly changing and presents an ephemeral picture o f Whitman. Some students think an online or CD version o f a yearbook would be a good compromise.

“An online yearbook would set in stone a picture o f Whitman now, while Facebook is constantly changing. Hardcopy yearbooks are just wasteful and expensive,” said sophomore Andrew Spittle.Although a yearbook would help memorialize students’

activities and lives at Whitman, student support has been lacking.

“Who wants a college yearbook? There are so many peo­ple who you don’t know,” said senior Aaron Rose.

The large size o f a graduating class poses an additional challenge. Many argue only certain students would be rep­resented in the yearbook, perhaps friends o f the yearbook staff, instead o f a wide cross-section o f students and activ­ities. For this same reason, however, some think it would be fun to have one.

“I think it’d be really cool to have a yearbook. I t ’d be fun to look through and see all the people I could have been friends with,” said junior Andrew Aviza.Associate Director o f Academic Resources and 1985

Whitman graduate Carole Hsiao said that the W aillatpu was never a very big deal to her as a student.

“It was so much work Tor people that I think it took the fun out o f it. I don’t even have the one for my year,” said Hsiao.

Maxwell noted that i f there was a group o f interested and dedicated students, they would have institutional support, but as o f yet this has not happened.

ENDOWMENT: Tuition cost remains tricky issue

-continued from page 2-handkitwell.”

this way of measuring, they would most likely not meet the 5 percent proposed quota.

“I am opposed to [the potential require­ment] as a matter o f principle, because I want the smoothing effect to have stable income to support financial aid and faculty salaries,” said Harvey. “The idea with an endowment is that it’s supposed to last in perpetuity, and it’s supposed to benefit fu­ture generations o f students as much as it benefits today’s generation.”

Whitman’s tuition for the 2007-’08 school year is $32,980, and Harvey said that there will be a tuition raise for the next school year. This number does not include the $8,000 cost, per student, per year, above tu­ition that the college draws from its operat­ing budget to cover costs o f each student’s education.

“Setting tuition is the toughest issue that we face every year— trying to find that bal­ance between keeping college affordable for those coming, but also making investments in new programs and services to make a Whitman education even better each year,” Harvey said.With soaring costs o f education, reflecting

numbers that more than account for infla­tion, Harvey emphasized the feet that Whit­man is seeking to not only maintain, but en­hance the quality o f education delivered.

“When senators and the public look at our tuition going up 6.5 [or] 7 percent, and it’s going up more than inflation, that’s in the neighborhood o f 4 percents, they say, ‘Well, why can’t you keep it at inflation?”’ said Har­vey. “The thing they don’t consider is that inflation is measuring the quality o f some­thing staying the same from year to year. I sincerely believe Whitman has gotten better dramatically in the last 15 years.”

Regardless of its benefits, a higher tuition may prove difficult for some students to meet in a market that is on the brink o f a recession.

“We’re spending what we can given the level o f our endowment and instability of the markets,” said Bridges. “We are in a race with other schools, and our endow­ment is much smaller than the schools with which we compete for students and faculty, so we really can’t afford to spend our endowment at a higher rate. We need to grow the endowment, not shrink it.”

In 2001, after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the U.S. economy suffered a mild recession. During that time, Whitman’s returns on investment significantly decreased. How­ever; reserve funds and advanced planning allowed Whitman to avoid faculty, staff and program cutbacks.

“We planned for it [the 2001 recession] tothe extent you can, and we managed it asbest we could,” said Harvey. “I’m confidentthat in a similar experience Whitman can

Hi 1 ' - • > f 'J (■ <■ * * »

• Recessions can also cause declining enroll­ments among students who are no longer able to meet their financial requirements.

“We have reserves to cover enrollment shortages in the event that that happens,” Bridges said. “We do have a plan for help­ing the college through a recession period" and if a family suffers a loss of income due to a lost job or a layoff we can and will help them obtain more financial aid”Seventy-eight percent o f Whitman stu­

dents are currently receiving some form of financial aid For the past two years, Whit­man, whose admission policy is need-blind, has been able to meet 95 percent o f fully demonstrated financial aid among accepted students. Director o f Admissions Kevin Dyeriy is hopeful that this trend will con­tinue.

“The commitment we make to [accepted] students and families is that we are going to meet your need and scholarship dollars for the four years,” said Dyeriy. “I f your need goes up, then your scholarship will go up.”

Each year Whitman earmarks about $15 million to financial aid

“We have to have more scholarship money for students, period,” said Bridges.According to Bridges, the school is cur­

rently planning a fund-raising campaign to raise millions more to support additional scholarships. Currently, Whitman brings

. in around $10 million per year from fund­raising.

One o f the ways that Whitman judges the affordability o f a Whitman education for students and families is by the average debt students have upon graduating. Whitman’s figures average $16,000at the completion of four years.

“To compare that to people graduating from the University o f Washington, which is a large public school significantly subsi­dized with tax dollars, it’s about the same; Whitman may be even slightly less,” said Harvey.

While a select few universities have made a pledge of free entry to students whose families earn under a specified amount, Whitman’s endowment does not allow it to do the same. However, the school is still striving to lower costs for families with low socio-economic backgrounds.

“One o f things we’re looking at is reduc­ing the amount o f loans that students from certain incomes would have to borrow and perhaps eliminating loans for students whose parents make very little money,” said Director o f Financial Aid Varga Fox. “At this point we don’t have the endowment to do what Harvard, Yale and some o f the other schools which have billions of dollars in their endowment are doing.”

Dyedy summarized saying, “We’re con­tinuing to do the best possible job that we ean in allocating the resources that we

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Arts & Entertainment

Propp

First-years Finn Straley and Kevin Moore perform in "Volvo 240," written by sophomore Alex Kerr and directed by junior Ben Kegan for the One-Act Play Contest. The contest takes place in Harper Joy's blackbox theatre from Feb. 6 to 10.

'V o lvo s/ 'E g g s/ 'Cleavage' for this year's One-Actsby Heather Michois-Haining

staff writer

T he plays in the O n e-A ct Play C on test, running Feb. 6 -10 , have been entirely produced by students. Students have done the w riting, d irecting, casting and w ill even do the judging.

R etired Physics P rofessor Craig Gunsul started the contest 19 years ago to prom ote creativity on campus.

“As a physics professor, I felt that the college was superior at encouraging analysis, but lacked in prom oting creativity ,” said G unsul. “A ctin g is such a gutsy proposition. Putting it all out on the table like that is hard.”

H is intent to prom ote creativity has been successful. T h is year, 12 on e-acts were subm itted, and over 4 0 0 students are projected to attend, m aking it one o f the m ost popular productions put on in H arper Joy.

Last N ovem ber students subm itted original scripts to a selection com m ittee o f theater professors from W hitm an and outside com m unity m em bers with expertise in theater.

T he plays were selected and the w riters each picked a director, who then held auditions, were in charge o f castin g and were given freedom with the production o f their plays. T h ere was very little faculty involvem ent in the process.

“We basically just chose which plays we th in k w ill be the best, gave the kids funds, and the d irectors are in charge o f the rest,” said Gunsul.

Students didn’t need any previous experience to be chosen as a d irector, though writers were given a list o f people who took the d irecting class offered at W hitm an.

“ I directed a little in high school, but th is w ill really be my firs t big d irecting experience. I t ’s been fun to take what I ’ve learned in class and apply it to th is,” said theater and m usic m ajor, ju nior Evan Cartw right,

who directed “Like Eggs at P resent,” w ritten by senior K a itlin P hillips. “ In the past, we haven’t had as many fem ale w riters. I ’m glad more

women are going for th is,” said Phillips. For the firs t tim e ever, two o f the th ree w riters are female. T h e oth er female w riter is sophom ore Alexandra Schirem an.

T h e play contest o ffers many opportunities for students to gain experience and get involved in the theater department.

“ I want to go into dram atic w riting in the future, and th is is good experience for that,” said P hillips, w hose play "A nticipatin L ife" won second place in last year’s contest.

“Som etim es it’s hard to break in to the theater departm ent i f you aren’t a theater m ajor. B u t I ’m really grateful that as a non-theater m ajor, I have the chance to participate,” said sophom ore A lex K err, who wrote the play “Volvo 2 4 0 ” and won third place w ith h is play "D ude It's C ool" last year.

T h e judging w ill be done by popular vote via poker chips. E ach play w ill be assigned a different colored poker chip. T h e audience w ill watch the three plays, each about 30 m inutes long, and then vote for their favorite by subm itting a poker chip whose color corresponds w ith their favorite play. T he w inner w ill be announced at the end o f the four nights and cash prizes w ill be awarded to all three com petitors.

T he O n e-A cts w ill be showing throughout the week at the Freim ann Stage. T he d irectors are expecting a fu ll house, and many o f the nights are sold out. T ickets for Friday and Saturday b oth sold out two days after they w ent on sale on Ja n . 28.

F o r G unsul, this year is particularly exciting because the program has finally been endowed. A successor w ill now be able to run the program and $5 0 0 to $ 1 ,000 w ill be allo tted each year for the production o f the plays.

5‘Untraceable’ a guilty, gratuitous spectacle

by Teal Greyhavensstaff writer

Some years ago I was introduced to a Web site (which shall remain nameless) dedicated to awful pho­tos— o f autopsies, accident victim s, malignant tumors, deform ities, fe­ces, meth addiction. I remember one image, o f a man who was thrown from his motorcycle face-first onto the pavement so that his bottom jaw was ripped off. I w ill always remem­ber that image. I have no doubt that there are many other sites like this one, where people can ogle not only pain and suffering but the m ost gro­tesque, visceral pain and suffering available.

Now there is “ Untraceable,” a mov­ie that takes this very real perversion and amplifies it to an extreme that seems both horrifying and natural, even inevitable. There is a serial killer loose in Portland, O re., but he never touches his victim s. Instead, he straps them to torture devices which are wired into the counter on his personal Web site. Each time someone visits the site, the m echa­nism increases the torture— in one case by releasing sulfuric acid into a tank where a man is strapped down.

A fter a certain number o f h its, the victim dies. I f no one visits the site, nothing happens. O f course many, many people visit the site, and each new victim takes exponentially less time to kill as word o f the site spreads.

Diane Lane plays Jen n ifer Marsh, the F B I Cyber Crimes Division agent assigned to the case. She works with the nerdy G riffin Dowd and lives with her m other and 8-year- old daughter, and the movie leaves little question that at least one of these people w ill have an unpleas­ant encounter with the killer before the movie is over. N or do we imag­ine when tidbits like a roto-tiller, a downloaded racing game, Morse code and Korean artwork get men­tioned that these are merely decora­tive details.

The screenplay, by no less than R obert Fyvolent, Mark Brinker and A llison Burnett (you can just taste the studio-ordered rewrites), makes these planted seeds so apparent be­cause it invests alm ost nothing in its characters. Mrs. Lane gives Marsh a

.. L\ > -continued on page 7- .

6Arts ft Entertainment Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Netflix it‘G u e s s W h o ’s .

C o m in g t o D in n e r ’

There is no movie I can think o f m ore ahead o f its time than this one. It tackles Am erica’s favorite political hot button (racism) by following the story o f an interracialVouple break­ing the news o f their contro­versial engagement to their parents. I t ’s also notably the movie Spencer Tracy made immediately before he died, which adds a poignant gravity to his speech about undying love to Katharine Hepburn in the last scene.D espite thè presence o f these

two enormous stars, “Guess W ho’s Coming to D inner” manages to keep the focus on the task at hand, which, in this case, is shocking the socks o f f o f conservative America. I audibly gasped twice at how unabashedly radical this movie is, even 40 years after its re­lease. There are those among my grandparents who certain­ly did not approve o f “Guess W ho’s Com ing to D inner,” de­spite Sidney Poitier’s dreamy dreamy face. There are bigger political fish to fry than good looks.

W hat makes this movie so ground-breaking is that it con­fronts the issue o f racial ten­sion and prejudice head-on, using the m ost straightfor­ward language possible. The entire movie is built around this young couple, who fell in love and became engaged after a number o f days, com ­ing home and trying to think o f the easiest way to break the news to their parents. They know it’s going to be a huge deal, and it is. N either set o f parents approves, and their anger reaches its boiling point when they all converge upon K ate and Spencer’s enormous w hite-person pad, and sit down to dinner. Served by a black maid, by the way. She’s responsible for one o f my au­dible gasps, in an earlier scene involving the ‘n’ word.

Here is a film that does what “Crash” set out to do, except 40 years earlier and in my opinion more effectively. It should be required viewing.

(1967)- Katie Presley

Îm M É iÊ Ê Ê im ËCurtis

First-years Charlie Procknow, Paul Butler, Eugene Gant and junior Andrew Knox sit in a hypnotic trance induced by Rich jacks. Whitman's associate dean of student health and wellness.

Whitman students hypnotized at Sigma Chi Houseby Lisa Curtis

green pages editor

H alf o f the students in the room suddenly jerked their hands, swatting at flies that only they could see. These students were in a hypnotic trance, courtesy o f R ich Jacks, W hitm an’s associate dean o f student health and wellness. The event was held at the Sigma Chi fraternity house on Tues- d a^ Jan . 30.

^ *T m not going to make anyone look stupid and foolish,” said Jacks, to the disappointment o f the crowd. “I t ’s up to you whether you becom e hyp­notized or not; it depends on your individual co ­operation and concentration.”Jacks then divided the group into two circles:

a smaller one in the middle o f those who only wanted to observe and a bigger surrounding c ir­cle o f students eager to be hypnotized. Those on the inner circle were given a Stanford Hypnotic Susceptibility Scale scoring sheet and a group o f four students on the outer circle to evaluate.In a soothing voice, Jacks told the crowd just

relax and listen to his voice. He then asked them to merely think about their heads falling forward, explaining that thinking an action is closely re­lated to doing it. -1

“Your head is feeling heavy, it’s falling more and more forward,” Jacks said.

Slowly but surely,' the heads o f m ost o f those

sitting in the outer circle began to fall forward. A fter a moment Jacks told the group to sit up and open their eyes. It had been a quick demonstra­tion o f the power o f suggestion and now the true hypnosis would begin.Jacks began by asking everyone to relax their

entire body while concentrating hard on a target spot on their hands.“ Hypnosis is simply a state o f deep concentra­

tion. In a sense you are hypnotized every time you watch a good show and forget that you are part o f the audience,” said Jacks.O nce everyone was thoroughly relaxed, Jacks

began to count to 20 , telling the audience that once he was done counting they would be in a deep sleep and wouldn’t awaken until he asked them to.

The next h a lf hour consisted o f Jacks slowly sug­gesting different body movements that the hyp­notized group followed in a cult-like fashion.

“ I wonder i f you could shake your head. I really don’t think you could shake your head. Your head is so heavy... Perhaps you might try shaking your head... Try shaking your head.”T he group shook their heads, raised their arms,

interlocked their hands and then finally swatted at invisible flies. Before Jacks woke the group from their hypnotic trance, he told them they would be unable to remember anything until he told them they could. He also commanded them to touch their left ankle when he tapped a stick against a

chair but not to remember that he told them to.Jacks again counted to 20 and the group woke

up, bleary-eyed and drowsy. He tapped the chair and about h alf o f the group instantly touched their le ft ankles. Many looked surprised at their sudden memory after he told them they were al­lowed to remember what they had done.

“T h at was legit,” said junior Andrew Knox. “W hen he tells you what to do and you have it in your mind, it’s like you cannot go against that.”

“ It felt like common sense [to follow Jacks’ in­structions],” said first-year W ill Falltrick.Jacks held a brief question-and-answer session.

He explained that hypnosis can be used for a num­ber o f things including lulling patients awaiting surgery. Jacks personally perform s self-hypnosis when visiting the dentist. However, he explained that he doesn’t use hypnosis in his practice as a counselor.

“ I don’t do it clinically because I ’m not philo­sophically com fortable with it. As a counselor, I have an unwritten contract with my clients that I will act more as a teacher, helping students gain power over their own lives, not doing it for them/’

Contrary to popular myth, Jacks doesn’t think that anyone can be hypnotized into doing danger­ous things.

“I f I ’d told the students to do som ething that they really didn’t want to do, they would have just woken up/’ said Jacks. '■

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Arts ft Entertainment

'There Will Be Blood' challenges viewers' conscienceby Erin Salvi

columnist

W hat does it mean when the Academy nominates not one but two film s for B est Picture that o ffer no tidy conceptions o f “right” and “w rong,” no chance for redem ption and no just punishm ent, but instead only depict greed, revenge and their natural consequences? “N o Country for Old Men” was the first, and now we have “There W ill Be Blood.” T h e Academy must either be growing m ore pes­sim istic or more realistic.

I t ’s not as i f these are new notions that w riters and directors are exploring— Paul Thom as Anderson based his screenplay for “There W ill B e Blood” on a novel titled “O il!” by Upton Sinclair, penned in the 1920s. And yet the Academy has shown an obvious tendency in the past towards film s that serve up some sort o f ethical code, albeit a usually com plicated one: “Crash,” “ M illion D ollar Baby,” “ Lord o f the R ings” and even last year’s “T he D eparted” all held im plications that there are m oral actions and there are im m oral ac­tions and our job is to pick and choose betw een them.So what happens when we are given a film that doesn’t show us

the right thing to do, that makes us question whether there even is a right thing to do? T h is is the challenge Anderson presents to us in “T here W ill B e Blood .”T h e film follows the life o f D aniel Plainview (D aniel Day-Lew­

is), an o il prospector looking to get rich at the turn o f the last century, when the business was still in its youthful stages. Early in the story, a fellow oil worker dies, leaving behind a baby boy, whom Plainview decides to adopt and raise as his own. D on ’t be fooled, however, by this m ost seemingly virtuous gesture— Pla­inview uses H.W. (D illon Freasier) as the face o f the “fam ily” oil business he begins to run in New M exico.

Soon, Plainview gets a tip from a young man named Paul Sun­day (Paul D ano) about a poor town in C alifornia resting on top o f a sea o f oil just w aiting to be tapped. Plainview makes haste towards the town w ith H.W. in tow and proceeds to buy up land from alm ost ev- / ery family settled there in hopes o f building an o il empire.

He would have succeeded with little difficulty, too, i f it hadn’t been for E li Sunday (also played by D ano), Paul’s evangelical pas­to r o f a brother who engages in a subtle power struggle with Plain- view. E li ’s religion, however, is no

more m oral than Plainview ’s th irst for oil, and their manipulative battle for power sends both o f them spiraling out o f control.

The m ost impressive aspect o f “There W ill B e B lood ” is that there are few people who would identify w ith, or even like, a single char­acter in the film , and yet it is im possible to not becom e completely invested in their actions. T his can m ostly be attributed to the pow­erhouse perform ances, especially D ay-Lew is’. As Plainview, he is perhaps the m ost charm ing psychopath ever to grace the silver screen, sm iling and sm iling beneath a perfectly-groom ed mustache until someone aggravates him and he calmly inform s him that he w ill find him and cut his throat. I f there was ever any doubt that m ethod acting is useful, p roof o f its effectiveness Can be found here, and the Academy should be disbanded i f they don’t award Day-Lewis a little gold statue for this accom plishment.Though Day-Lewis eclipses the other actors in the film , D an o’s

impressive perform ance should not be overlooked. For such a young actor, he tackles a d ifficu lt role with confidence and nuance, bringing a ferocity and drive to E li that a lesser actor m ight have

missed.Anderson took a great risk in creating

a film with no hero to root for and no clear lesson to be learned, and he

pulls it o f f m asterfully. He uses stark visual imagery and a fantastically jarring musical score to drive the plot along as much as the script.

T here is a scene in w hich Plainview finally taps into the oil beneath the

town, which com es spewing up from the ground and begins to burn in an

enorm ous geyser o f fire. Plainview and his business partner stand silhouetted v ictori­

ously before it as the sky around them turns a deep, blood red and the music sounds like

1 thunderous, pulsing heartbeat, as i f Plainview has opened up the very gates

o f hell itself. In this m oment, Ander­son glaringly reveals that no good can possibly com e o f th is, and yet Plain-

view is as unstoppable as death. By the nd o f “There W ill B e B lood ,” film - goers can only hope that the natural

state o f their world is not quite as corrupt as the one produced here by Anderson.

BOOK REVIEW: 'god is not Great' attacks religionby Mimi Pysno

columnist

Christopher H itchens, grade-A asshole, leaves no religion un-at- tacked in his latest work, “god is not Great; How Religion Poisons Everything.” T his book offers a piercingly-harsh look at religion, calling on real examples, historical and contemporary, as the basis o f its assault. There is no rest for the weary when it comes to the list o f religions under scrutiny, with the potential to offend anyone who cares to read it.

Discussing m onotheist, polytheist, Western and Eastern religions alike, “god is not G reat” cites human rights abuses, wrongful death and torture, war and more as examples o f “how religion poisons everything.” Some o f Hitchens’ examples o f injustice are hard to argue. However, he artfully spins other instances in order to make his case.

Hitchens charges that fascism, communism and Nazism were all exacerbated by religion. Although this is irrefutable in some cases, h is argument sometimes asserts the pious are to blame for success

jb f cctf ialp’t.iysieihs. ,H eJgnoresr the m astermind o f the systems under

which religion is abused as an opiate or a scapegoat.A ttacking perhaps the m ost famous historical figure, Jesus Christ,

Hitchens refers to a work by C .S. Lewis, which called Christ a luna­tic after describing how he took the blame for sins he had nothing to do with. About 100 pages later, H itchens claims th at when Orthodox Jew s declare they are the “chosen people” they help to bring about anti-Semitism.

T he man has guts.For as harsh as H itchens’ words are, they are just as wonderful.

W itty and quick with a strong voice and clear opinion, he screams his claim at the top o f his lungs. Hitchens encompasses specific ex­amples and stories, personal and historical, into the sweeping idea o f each chapter, leaving only those stones that may hurt his case unturned. T his work is more like an artful monologue than a calcu­lated book.

For a believer, this book is indecent and insensitive; for an optim ist it is a depressing blow to the head; for a lover o f words and ideas it is nothing short o f an inform ative and fascinating read. I t may not convert you, but it certainly will get you thinking about what reli-

ygjoji is^fpt atid what you cai^do'rq 'e/ifuie i | S , p e a c e f u l , V e;1116

--------------------------------------- 7‘Untraceable’: Can’t catch up to ‘Seven’

-continued from page 5-

-convincing gravity, but the movie is hardly con­cerned with her. I t isn’t, even particularly con­cerned with the provocative premise. Shockingly,

. “Untraceable’”s focus is on the guilty thrill o f watching people being slowly killed. O h, natu­rally we hope they’ll survive, and it’s excruciat­ing to watch— but still we watch. And the movie invites us to.

“ Untraceable” has been compared with the “Saw” film s and with David Fincher’s “Seven”; the former have a penchant for showcasing gory torture, as this movie does, and the latter ques­tions mankind’s basic goodness, as this movie would like to think it does. But there are tw o­fold differences between “Untraceable” and “Seven”: the latter never showed the acts o f tor­ture it inventoried, only their afterm ath, and it was trenchant and brave, while “Untraceable” is a Reader’s D igest tour o f depravity. “ Untraceable” observes the contemptible behavior o f humans without questioning it and hopes the implication o f a commentary w ill suffice to pass observation o ff as insight.

Well, I am fully aware that the Ifaternet has brought out the worst in a tremendous swath of people. I have no doubt that i f a live-murder site ever surfaced, it would draw m illions o f hits. I am not interested in witnessing the spectacle o f this hypothetical affair any more than I am interested in watching someone die a horrible death. “ Un­traceable,” by its lack o f interest in how and where these depraved web-crawlers breed, reduces itself with unbearable irony to just another gory spec­tacle we should all be wagging our fingers at.T he movie’s m ost uncannily resonant details are

the comments that visitors to the murderous site post next to the streaming image o f the victim : “omg, sooooo wrong,” “uve got to be kidng m e,” “where can I download this vid?” These are com­ments divorced from civilization, let alone civil­ity, betraying a preoccupation with idyll and en­tertainm ent so profound it has mushroomed into total detachment from reality. >

The isolation o f the Internet separates us from the world’s atrocities even as we comment on them and, in the case o f “Untraceable,” help per­petrate them. T he review publication “Christian Spotlight on the Movies” observes, “W ith the in­vention o f the Internet, double lives have formed. People have found that they can have anonymity and hide their sins.” There is a profound dark side to humanity that the Internet has unveiled, and it has yet to be sufficiently explored in cinema.

W atching “Untraceable,” I was far less inter­ested in Marsh and her family than in the moral conundrum o f the 27 m illion people who visited the murderous Web site. Theirs was a simple deci­sion: click, or don’t click. They knew what the site was. They had heard it from their friends. And they clicked. Re-visiting the site with the autop­sy and tumor photos in preparation for writing this review, I am compelled to click on a link to pictures o f rotting m eth-addicted teeth. Closing that, a second link beckons, to see someone dis­membered in a Philippine execution. T h is is how it begins. I close the page and look up, to see fresh

, snow falling on dogwoods outside my window.

8Local News Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Duquez

Karate tournament to assemble at WWCCby Heather Nichols-Hafning

staff writer

Over 40 karate schools will assemble for a martial arts tournament at Walla Walla Community College on Sat­urday, Feb. 9. The tournament is annually hosted by The Karate Center, a school about three blocks away from campus.

The tournament will be a friendly match between karate schools in the region. Most schools are in the Walla Walla district, but there are some schools planning to attend from as far away as British Columbia and Eugene, Ore. Others schools will be from Wyoming, Idaho, Montana and all over Washington.

“This tournament is mostly about fellowship,” said David Lybbert, head instructor o f The Karate Center. “The only way you get to come to my tournament is i f I know you.”

He explained that many o f the schools are headed by instructors that he has taught or has worked with for a long time, while some o f them studied together with him when they were young.

“Part o f the fun o f the tournament is getting to know martial artists from other schools. You get to m eet lots o f people, and it’s fun seeing them every year,” said Jan Brasheare, a brown belt from The Karate Center who has been competing at this tournament for 5 years.

The tournament was first organized for The Karate Center students and a second local school to practice together in a friendly atmosphere. The tournament had fewer than 50 participants.The following year, four schools competed, and this

year, The Karate Center is expecting more than 400 people to compete.

Students can register for any o f four divisions, including sparring (controlled fighting), kata (choreographed patterns o f movements), weapons and entertainment. The entertainment division is new this year, and competitors

' will do -anything- from perfoimin'g. karate - to .music, -to ,

showing flashy karate forms that may include jumps and spins.

“Normally, the back-flips and the jumps are considered frivolous and are laughed out o f competitioiis, but they look cool. This division should be good because we’ll get a chance to have fun with stuff we can do that may not be really practical in a fight,” said Brasheare, who will compete in this division.

“Tournaments are great for lots o f reasons,” said Lybbert. “They encourage students to train harder, and they can get a very honest opinion about what they’re working on. Also, it’s always great to have so much talent and hatd work in the same room.”

Many students have been working hard to prepare for the event by increasing their water intake, attending more classes and practicing more at home.

“I ’ve learned how to spar and am working really hard on my katas for the tournament,” said Rheanna Thorp, a white belt who will be participating in her first tournament.

Some students are nervous, while for others tournaments are a routine occurrence.

“I was scared for my first few tournaments, but I ’m not as worried as I used to be because I know what I need to get done. Now it’s just a matter o f doing it,” said brown belt Marcus Thell.

O ther less experienced students aren’t feeling so confident.

“I ’m so nervous for this and I really don’t know what to expect,” said white belt Kaytieire Fine.

A fter the tournament, two seminars, limited to 20 participants each, will be offered. The first will be a sparring seminar taught by Frank Arnett, a fourth degree black belt teaching in Lewiston, Idaho. The second will be an opportunity for the martial artists to learn a high level k a ta from Jo h n Franco Jr.

“It should be fun to work out together with everyone from all the different schools. The tournament is something we’re all proud to hpst and be a part o f,” said

« jCaiji^ron^Riley, a black belt,ax the Karate Center. - .

Motorcycle dealership to open doors in Walla Walla

by Kara McKaystaff writer

Harley-Davidson is coming to Walla Walla. Located in the heart o f down­town, the building formerly occupied by the Brickstone Design Gallery is soon to become the site o f owner M i­chael Shumate’s fourth Harley-Da­vidson dealership and retail store in the Tri-Cities area.Nestled on the corner o f Main and

Colville next to the Coffee Connec­tion Café, the future site o f the deal­ership in the 1905 Breier Building should be fully renovated and ready to open its doors by April, accord­ing to General Manager David A r­chibald.

The store, which will sell apparel, parts and motorcycles, will most likely be opened as Shumate’s or Shumate’s M otor Sports and then become an official Har­ley-Davidson. dealer­ship in late June or July, after the company has been granted permis­sion by Harley-David­son headquarters.

Shumate, who also owns dealerships in Kennewick, Spokane and Lewiston, had been looking for a loca­tion for a fourth dealership for some time, said Greg E . Flowers, co-owner o f the Breier Building.

“Our building has a great loca­tion— lots o f exposure and close to the downtown activities. O f course we also have good storefront display windows, which face two streets,” said Flowers.

Flowers is excited at the prospect o f the new dealership. “I think it will help the other businesses downtown by drawing people in. I t’s something different than what we already have on Main Street, so it will definitely add some diversity,” Flowers said.

“I t ’s going to be loud down there,

and I could imag­ine it getting really bad. I guess we’ll ju st have to wait

and see how it goes. —L.aura Keardon

could imagine it getting really bad. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how it goes,” she said.

W hile a few community members may feel threatened at the prospect o f a Harley-Davidson shop coming downtown, most are indifferent or looking forward to the store’s open­ing.

“ I really don’t think there’s going to be much motorcycle traffic on Main Street itself,” said Je f f Parsons*. “Motorcyclists don’t want to ride in a downtown area; they want to ride out in the boonies,” he said.

“I really don’t have a problem with it,” said Book and Game Company Inc. employee Dianne Mosher.

“I know that Harley-Davidson was initially connected to the Hells A n­gels and other motorcycle gangs, but

H a rle y -D a v id so n has really evolved over time,” said Flowers.

“Now it’s a nice motorcycle that at­tracts professional peop le— attorneys and doctors. I think i f you polled Harley- Davidson owners in this generation, it’s not going to be the Hells Angels and the trouble-makers,

so I don’t think it will be a detriment to downtown,” he said.

In fact, since an article was pub­lished in the Union-Bulletin Jan . 24 de­tailing the store’s opening, Archibald said he has had three people drive from Walla Walla to the dealership in Kennewick and tell him how excited they are about the new store.■ He hopes that the Walla Walla branch will make shopping more convenient for Harley-Davidson fans and improve customer service over­all.

*Name has been changed to protect

Februray 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Local News9

Art exhibit opens at Carnegie Center with local wine, chocolateby Kara McKay

HongCommunity members enjoy the Feb. i opening of "The Human Figure." The event was a fund-raiser for the Carnegie Center and featured not just art, but also chocolate and wine from local businesses.

staff writer

W elcom ing lovers o f both art and chocolate, the Carnegie A rt Center celebrated the open­ing o f its newest exhibit, entitled “T h e Human Figure,” on the evening o f Feb. 1 with a spe­cial “Chocolat & Wine Bistro .”T he exhibit, which features local artists us­

ing a variety o f mediums, seeks to highlight the depth and breadth o f the human body, said Cheryl W illiam s-Cosner, executive direc­

tor o f the Carnegie A rt Center.“This exhibit is focusing on a classical sub­

je ct m atter but in u many different in­terpretations.The idea is to see how many differ­ent ways and how many different views and approaches and mediums each art­ist can take,” said W illiam s-Cosner.

“I have always loved drawing and painting the human figure,” said featured artist K ath ­erine Treffinger o f Cove, Ore.

Treffinger, who often sprays her drawings with water and then wipes them down, says her goal is to make sure she remains more loosely rendered in the artistic process.

“I may even take a power-sander to my draw­ings. It rips through the paper sometimes. But that’s okay with me because I understand that it’s all a d iscovery...I try to find the emerging figure when there is less, not more, control.”

O ther artists whose works are featured in­clude G len Greenwalt, Francesca Spoonhow- er, Sara Wyman and W hitm an alum Elizabeth Harris M atschukat.“The work I have at Carnegie currently

represents personal artistic research on al­ternative painting processes. Egg tempera is my current medium o f choice, and I have barely begun,” said Matschukat in an e-mail. Matschukat, who graduated from W hitm an in 1971 and went on to earn a MFA from Port­land State University in painting, currently teaches in the art department at Walla Walla Community College.

Friday’s “Chocolat and W ine B istro ,” a spe­cial for Valen­tine’s Day, was a fund-raiser for the Carnegie Cen­ter and featured chocolate from Bright’s Candy

and wine from the Walla Walla Valley’s Abeja and N orthstar wineries.

“The event was very well-attended, especial­ly given the weather,” said W illiam s-Cosner.

Among the attendees were several W hitman professors. ^

“T h is is m ore coherent theme from other ex­hibits that I ’ve seen, and so that’s kind o f fun because you get to follow all these different styles o f painting the human figure,” said B i­ology D epartm ent Chair G inger W ithers.

“Sarah Wyman, one o f the featured artists, did portraits o f people I know that are just absolutely wonderful,” said Biology Professor

Chris Wallace.T he majority o f the event’s attendees seemed

to be equally impressed by the center’s setup, organization and candlelit atmosphere.

“I really like painting people myself, so this is very exciting for me to look at,” said Walla

Walla University student Canda Lodge o f the exhibit.

“ We go on every A rt Walk at the beginning o f each m onth, and this is one o f the more interesting exhibits I ’ve seen here,” said at­tendee H eather Austermuhl.

We go on every A rt Walk at the begin­ning o f each month, and this is one o f the more interesting exhibits I ’ve seen here.”

Heather Austermuhl

We’ve got extraordinary assignmentsin 74 countries around the world.

Learn more at a special event hosted by regional recruiter Chad Wesen (Peace Corps Volunteer, Moldova, 2004 - 2006).

Tuesday, Feb. 12 4:30 - 6 p.m.Whitman CollegeReid Campus Center (Room 207)

NEED | goo.424.8580 I seattle@peacecorps.gov

info? j peacecorps.gov

If you’re graduating this year and you’d like to be considered for assignments departing when you graduate, now is the time to start the application process.

Go to peacecorps.gov/application today.

10Green Pages Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

'Focus the Nation' culminates with Ervin speechby Elsbeth Otto

feature editor

Labeled as the largest teach -in in U .S. history , last w eek’s “Focus the N ation ” festiv ities ended with a nation-w ide series o f lectu res, forum s and w orkshops on global clim ate change last Thursday.

W hitm an’s week o f events was capped by a lectu re by C hristine E rv in , assistant secretary o f energy under C linton , follow ed by a panel discussion betw een the presidents o f the three W alla W alla colleges.

W alla W alla city councilw om an Barbara Clark opened the evening ta lk in g about what the city is do­ing to be m ore environm entally conscious. H ighlighting program s from the city ’s new L E D holiday lights to the plans to use recycled glass in street repairs, C lark saw W alla W alla’s future as prom ising.

“ I t ’s tim e for us to say [environ­m entally sustainability] is simply city p o licy ...W e’re o f f to a good start, but th ere’s still a lo t to be done,” said Clark.

E rv in , the firs t president and C E O o f the U .S. G reen Build ing C ou ncil, currently runs her own company th at consu lts and edu­cates on green bu ild in g and alter­native energy use. E rv in ’s talk fo-: cused on the need to re th in k how we build and design our spaces in order to create an econom ically and environm entally sustainable society.A ccording to E rv in , buildings,

w hich are the single largest co n ­tributor to greenhouse gas em is­sions (48 percent) in the U .S ., can dram atically reduce th eir environ­m ental foo tp rin t with the simple use o f current technology.

G reen building takes into account the location o f the building site, how the site is developed, the m a­teria ls, water and energy use, avail­ability o f m aterials and livability o f a space.

“ You don’t have to give up oth er ch aracteristics while supporting green building p ractices,” said E r ­vin. W hile green building may be in itia lly daunting, E rv in em pha­sized th at it. is n o t only necessary but w ill also render large pay-outs in the long run.

“G lobal clim ate change is not ju st an environm ental is su e ...it ’s a jo b s issue, an eth ica l issue and an econom ic issue,” said E rv in . “T h e fact that [redesigning how we build] w ill co st 20 tim es more

1 V hy we

KimChristine Ervin lectures on climate change last Thursday to a group at Maxey hall as part of the "Focus the Nation" series.

need to do it.” W hile there were lots o f jokesT h e evening concluded w ith a about wine and non-con crete ref-

panel discussion betw een G eorge erences to “developing a new vi- Bridges; Jo h n McVay, president o f sion” and “ striving for sustain- W alla W alla U niversity; and Steve ability,” organizers and attendees VanAusdle, president o f W alla found the panel fru itfu l.W alla Com m unity College. E ach “Tonight was especially produc- president highlighted environ- tive. To actually get the presidents m ental e ffo rts at each o f th eir co l- on the spot with the students and leges. com m unity m em bers questions

McVay stressed student-led ef- so that they’re actually m aking forts. VanAusdle discussed the com m itm ents...[ensu res] we actu- new water and environm ent center ally take a stand and follow th rou gh at the school and planting irriga- on our com m itm ents,” said orga- tion -free wine grapes instead o f n izer, sophom ore K atie Rouse, grass. Bridges talked about how “ I t ’s ground-breaking for three the school has stopped buying bot- presidents from W alla W alla' to sit tied water for events and seeks to down in a room and make com m it- increase the educational facilities m ents,” said Jesse P h illip s, a W hit- to-prepare students to change the man ju nior who also helped orga-

| --*-•* •< irize t h e event.T W

“I th in k [the presidents] m otivate maybe more helpful angle to take,” each oth er to do m ore th in gs,” said said senior M arina H eppenstall. senior Brittany Sm ith , who also ' “ We got two big, unexpected helped put on the week. com m itm ents from G eorge Bridg-

Som e students expressed dismay es w hich was W onderful, and a big that the presidents didn’t seem to surprise,” said Rouse, in reference have , been w ell-prepared for the to Bridges’ announcem ents o f a panel. They said that the discus- new $10 0 ,0 0 0 fund for .in n ova- sion was m ore focused on broad tive, student-devised p ro jects that college philosophy than active encourage global and local change brainstorm ing o f cross-in stitu - and the h iring o f a sustainabil- tion al solutions to global clim ate ity coord in ator in the next two or change. three years.

“ I m ean, it was definitely a good “Clim ate change is a very global th ing, but I would have liked to issue, but this week had a very hear them actually discuss th ings hum an focu s,” said P hillip s. “ It and talk m ore about what they makes m e, personally, want to keep could do to work together. I don’t pushing to get involved in the larg- know i f that was em phasized when er com m u nity .. .we need to keep they were inform ed o f the panel, pushing as hard as we can for in- but I th in k that w ould have been a stitu tional change on a big scale.”

M M * *U l ( I 1 1 1 l U L L kU M J J M 4 4 I I I I I I f I I ft h i

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Green Pages11

Becoming 'green' is becoming gimmickyOrganic companies, fashion magazines, car dealerships benefit from environmental fads

Environmental Clips

by Elise Otto

staff writer

Beside the door leading into Pren­tiss D ining Hall there is a round “G reen Seal” sticker. A “Green Seal” sticker is a sign that a build­ing in the Walla Walla community has taken extra steps to reduce pollution and manage waste in an e n v i r o n m e n ­tally concerned manner.

The “G reen” c e r t i f i c a t i o n , however, lacks meaning in an age in which C o n s u m e r s are inundated with phraseslike “certi­fied organic,”“e co -fr ie n d ly ,”“Energy Star certified” and “green.” FDA regulations on such phrases are vague i f present at all. This busi­ness practice is known as “gre­enwashing,” a tactic involving cultivation o f afalse or incomplete image o f how environmentally friendly their product is.T he following is a list o f seven

products and companies whose greenwashing is particularly no­table.

Big Business Organic: Large organic companies get organic

food globally, increasing the com ­pany's carbon footprint. Some o f the m ilk in Stonyfield Farm ’s yogurt comes from New Zealand. It is de­hydrated, flown 9,000 miles and re­hydrated at the company’s plant in New Hampshire. The company also receives various fruits from China, Turkey and Ecuador.

General Electric: G E has been famous nationally for polluting the Hudson River with toxic chemicals and locally for their environm ental­ly harm ful running o f the Hanford Nuclear Plant. However, their crisp advertisements about coal miners

T h e “G reen”

certification lacks

m eaning in an age

in which consum­

ers are inundated

with phrases like

“certified organ-

” “eco-friendly,”

“E n ergy Star

certified” and

“green ”

American Car Advertisements: SUVs sit in nature, while birds chirp and bears sn iff around the tail pipe. Car advertis­ers are excellent at portraying the im ­age that something is green without ever saying it, or being it.

Fashion Maga­zines: Vanity F a ir and Fille had their first ever green is­sues this last year. B oth Vogue and London Fashion W eek have done spreads o f environmentally conscious cloth­ing. Yet these same magazines can con­

tain over 600 pages and often have more than 450 advertisement pages.

and their promises to reduce their emissions by 2012 may change their image, but not their initiative. *

Hybrid Cars: D espite increased fuel efficiency, nickel is contained w ithin a hybrid battery. Nickel m in­ing is considered environmentally

harm ful, as it causes acid rain. Also, to create a Toyota Prius battery, nickel is shipped from the mine in Canada to Europe, then China and then Japan, creating a considerable carbon footprint. S till, Hybrid cars have been successfully marketed by the auto industry as a “solution” to

their section o f the pollu­tion pie chart.

C 1 o r o X Bleach:

Clo-

rox has long marketed bleach as a safe household product. Clorox re­cently purchased B u rt’s Bees, a nat­ural body care company with poli­cies for fair trade and against animal testing. This accompanies Clorox’s G reen Works products, which are supposedly completely ‘natural,’ a term that isn’t regulated by FD A. Dangerous substances such as arse nic are considered completely natu ral.

Oil Companies: B P ’s commerciah have cartoon babies driving in greet cars and stopping to refuel at greet gas stations. BP has even changec the colors in its logo to light anc dark green. Chevron’s advertise ments o f late look eerily sim ilar tc

a documentary about the danger: o f using oil.

Bush Announces 2009 Budget• Little of the $3.1 trillion in the 2009 budget went to environmental issues• Nuclear energy and "clean coal" received the most money• Arctic National Wildlife Refuge opened to drilling (Congress expected to reject this)

Ecofriendly City to be built in Persian Gulf• Masdar City is a self-contained car-free, solar-pow­ered city to be constructed in, the United Arab Emir-

New Mac not "Green” Enough for Greenpeace• Steve Jobs previously has told environmentalists to "get out of the computer business [and] go save som^ whales"• Jobs is now touting the Macbook Air as "green" be­cause it's clad in a recyclable aluminum case• Greenpeace says that although the Macbook Air has le$s toxins, it should have pope ;tp trply be "green"

ates• All water will come from a seawater-desalinization plant and all waste will be fully recycled• The community and research center are part of a $15 billion initiative by the government for clean energy

Feature Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008 February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Feature

GOODDDdReligion in America

47.4 percent: population who described themselves as 'thrisW a« adhereftti* who (Participate in rhurr*’ " o r -bthrr • organized feff-, ' gious activity1 with some regularity' (Census, 2000). r

74.7 percent: population who identified themselves

teflgiously in some terms related to Christianity (Census, 2001).

population J'tfVhò specified no religion (includes Atheist, Agnos­tic, etc.) (Census, 2oot>,‘ • ■

0.$3 percent: population | who identified themselves as Muslim/lslamic (Cen­sus, 2001).

0.52 percent: population who identified themselves ' as BUddhist (Census, 2001).

a.a percent: population who identify as Jewish ei­ther culturally and/or reli­giously (Census, 2003).

47,240,000 Canadian and U.S. membership of the Catholic Church (Census;

1 2003). •'

<9 percent: Americans who believe liberals have gone too far to try and keep religion out of school^ and government

; (Pew, 2006).

49 percent: Americans who believe cpnseryative Christians have gone too

far in trying to impose their religious values on the loim try iPew, 2006).

67 percent: Americans who responded 'yes' when asked if the U.S. is a Chris- tian natioh (Pew, 2006-u p 7 percent over the past 10 years). __ . . .

32 percent: Christians who identify themselves as ‘'liberal" or “progrèssi slve" (Pew, 2006).

54 percent: Americans who oppose gay marriage (Pew, 2006).

52 percent: self-described "progressive ' Christians" who oppose gay marriage (Pew, 2006).;.';

p erce n t: Christians who would hot describe themselves as progressive who oppose gay marriage

.(Pew, 2006). •

*Note: the U.S. Census does not contain any questions | about religion. The above information from the Census B was gathered by outside polling and research sources | and is used by the U.S. Census Bureau.Other statistics come from an August, 2006 study done I by the Pew Research Center on religion and politics in 1 the U.S.

Compiled by Elsbeth Otto

WBmmmm

M any s tu d e n ts u n d erg o re lig io u s , s p ir itu a l c h a n g e s in co lle g e

S S g@ß aby Katie Combs

staff writer

In bfevember’s CNK/YouTube debate, hostAoderson [asked the Republican candidates k question

straight from a car bumper «ticket: “What would . Jesus dp?” . ■

“Would Jesus support the death penalty?” he added. ' •'“Jesus was too smart to ever run for public of-

• fice, Anderson,” replied candidate and former pastor liike|^uckabee, whgsé victory in the Iowa caucuses last month has been widely attributed to

support from evangelical Christians. “That’s what JeOT would'dd'rys ■ i C / |f|

__I Religion is píajtiiig/á significant role in the 2008|S '^presidential election, not only in Htickabee’s cam-

M jj jig n but in those o f h is Republican and jjé n o c r a tcounterparts. ______

‘ “Religion has played such a /"'~orge Bush's presidency that it’s

e m i t . e t e ^ n ^ s a id Stuart Adam Kirtley.can’t g e t elected if you say you dpn’t believe in dd l^iofessbr o f P o lit ic Paul ApostolicUa. “And a clamp on freedom.” -

Among others, M itt Romney has feced questions regarding his faith, with t M n y ;á g jó ^ t s a s & n ¿ f 3fs America ready for a Mor­

in at

role inthe

Coun

roots run d eepAccording to G . Thomas Edwards' “The Triumph o f Tradition,” the

school was founded primarily with the support o f Congregationalists and the Congregational Church. Founders omitted any denomination in the charter, yet because the first trustees were Congregationalists who would be able to elect new trustees, many considered Whitman a Congregational school. Students were instructed by pastors, and cha­pel and church services were required.

Due to financial trouble, the seminary closed its doors for occasional semesters throughout its 16-year lifespan.

“The idea o f going to a college in 1882 in a sense was a way o f sort o f seeing if the community could sort o f salvage this institution,” said Professor o f Religion Rogers Miles.

The concept o f a college in Walla Walla gained more vocal and mon­etary support than the seminary did.

“In a Christian College, you will train teachers who will be o f high

“FreedomRomney $a L 'Ido ¡ B ¡m,

¡ ¡ ¡ ¡S J

addressed questions o f teli America” ust as religion requires freedom,3

moral character, who will then go o ff to the public schools and train students, hopefully inculcating a high moral character, which will be important in a republic,” said Miles, describing the idea o f virtuous republicanism o f the 19th century. “Without religion, you wouldn't breed citizens who would have the requisite self restraint to engage in democracy.”

In the College's early years, chapel and church service were also re­quired, as were theology and religious classes.

But Miles said that in the early 20th century, private liberal arts col­leges began to move in the same direction.

“There was this slow erosion o f the idea o f a Christian College. And I think that the actual term Christian College got removed from the Constitution maybe in the 1970s,” Miles said.

Even when Whitman was a Christian College, however, Miles said that the college was still liberal in religious matters, as there wasn't any.

: creed o f moral convictions.”Professor o f Religion Rogers Miles commented on Romney’s state­

ments. “It's hard for some Whitman students who don't see a connec­tion between religion and morality/' Miles said. “But for many Ameri­cans a great indicator o f morality is religion.”

And the Christian Right in p&rtkubrvApostoUdis Said, has been effec­tive in its attempt to fuse these ideas together.Democrats, too, have faced questions about their religious background

and fervor.“There’s a divide between Democrats who support separationism and

seem uneasy with religion in a public sphere ” said Miles, “compared with Republicans who seem to be resurrecting an ideal from the 19th century that the U.S<fs strong i f it rests on a moral base, connecting morality with relig io i^p^

On Saturday in Idaho, Barack Obama continued to defend himself against e-mails questioni^ his Christian faith.

“They send out these e-mails saying, 'You know Obama, he’s a Muslim and he doesn't pledge allegiance to the Rag/” the Senator said to a crowd at Boise State University. “ Don't try to just insult not just me but people o f the Islamic faith by playing on people’s fears. I know who I am.”

“Anytime religion is used to divide is a misuse o f religion,” Kirtley said.

“As voters, ! think it's only appropriate to not consider the candidates’ religion when we can count on elected officials to behave when it comes to infusing their religious views into policy;’ Kirtley added. “ I don't feel that my candidate o f choice and I have to share specific religions or reli­gious views. What we'll share, hopefully, até political philosophies.”

Historically, however, Apostolidis said, “In the most important epic changes that became major phases o f govemment, the presence o f re­ligion was very strong— you look at the civil rights movement and role that black Baptist churches played.” |

“Religion is becomfogmore— not less-—requisite if you want to be­come an elected official/' he added.

Kirtley believes it is reasonable to think that we will someday have a Jewish president and perhaps an atheist or Muslim. “ We're breaking ail sorts o f barriers in terms o f race and sex” he said. “There’s obviously more to come/' N ’ N ' ' ,

religious test required to teach at Whitman.“I f I were to go get a job at W hitworth today, I would have to sign

something that would attest to my Christian faith,” Miles said. “There was never any test at Whitman College. There were even Jewish fac­ulty members under [Stephen] Penrose.”

Many students are only vaguely aware o f Whitman’s religious roots, reflecting the fact that it is not emphasized on campus.

“That part o f Whitman is never talked about,” said sophomore An- astassia Kolosova. “A ll we ever hear about is the massacre and the fact that they [the Whitmans] existed.”

“I'm one o f those people who doesn't know anything about Whitman except what W hitman tells me,” Kolosova added.

“Whitman has a really long and interesting history,” said sophomore Allison Gill. “Religion is a part o f that, and I think it's valuable for us to learn about that past.”

by Autumn McCartanAftE Editor

College is a time for change when many questions o f iden­tity are raised, according to Stuart Religious Counselor Adam Kirtley. Students tend to further develop their po­litical and social views as well as their religious views in college.

“College is a time to put everything on the table and think for yourself and try to gauge where you stand on those sorts o f issues,” said Kirtley. “It's not surprising to me that during that time many will, move away from their traditional religious backgrounds.”

K irtley said that this is a national trend.“W hat they're seeing more and more is an increase in

what's loosely called ‘spirituality.’ W hile [college students] might move away from their traditional religious practices they also indicate an increase in their awareness o f spiri­tual issues,” said Kirtley.

Being away from parents and a familiar environment al­lows for students to experiment with their belief system.

“ I felt like, being at home, maybe there was space to ques­tion my spiritually but I didn't feel like I could be exactly what I wanted to be without being away from home and cem ent it within myself without any o f my parents’ ideas in my head,” said sophomore D anielle Barnes, who was raised Jewish.

Sophomore Neda Ansaari, who was raised Muslim, felt her parents had influenced her religious views, but when she came from India to attend W hitm an, she began to question them.

“I think when you're exposed to different cultures you tend to question more things,” said Ansaari. “At home I grew up with kids all following their religion [either Hin-. duism or Islam] and they did so because their parents asked them Jo . There was never a question o f ‘why am I doing this?' because my parents were doing it, so I ’ll do it as well. I think that being away from home and being away from my parents is definitely one o f the big reasons why I'm not following Islam so much anymore.”

One thing that sets W hitm an College apart nationally is the fact that only 50 percent o f the incom ing students subscribe to a religious view. According to Kirtley, this is significantly low.Senior K im H ooyboer said this impacted her religious

journey during her time at Whitman. Com ing from a reli­gious background and a religious high school, college was the first time H ooyboer m et people who had grown up in a non-religious context.

“I think that made a huge impact on my religious views at the time because I thought I had moved entirely away from Catholicism,” said Hooyboer, “then came here and realized I hadn't by seeing so many people who moved

further than I had. I found m yself playing the devil's advocate, or Catholic, which was an ... enlightening experience demonstrating how far I had come and how far I had to go.”

For others, W hitman's non-religious attitude was challenging. Joseph Fam es, a senior, came to college a Buddhist but found it to be more o f a system o f ethics than a religion, while he wanted something more “spiritually fulfilling.”

“ I wanted to return to th e religion that my mother had taught me,” he said, referring to Christianity.

“The fact that W hitm an doesn't have a strong reli­gious tradition period meant that I really had to for­mulate and understand my religiosity by myself,” said Fam es. “I f I had gone to a non-religious school but with more o f a Lutheran flavor, then I'm sure my religi­osity would have been informed a lot by that.”

Although Barnes attended Catholic high school, a fel­low W hitman student was the first deeply religiously committed Christian she had ever met.

“She inspired me,” Barnes said, “because even though her parents brought her up [religiously] she found her own way o f interpreting [Christianity] and I really mired that. She wasn't like what I imagined as one really religious, she was very non-judgmental.It never made sense to me why some religious people were judging. I f you're really going to be dedicated to a religious why not follow it? It doesn't make sense to me.”

Fam es sees this stereotype reflected on campus.

“W hitman students, though generally in- W ith ersp oonquisitive, will sometimes take at face value that just be­cause this is what Jerry Falwell said is so or Pat Robertson said is Christianity they speak for everyone,” Fam es said.“They don't realize in every religious tradition there’s a lot o f breadth to pin us all down as a certain type.”

Nevertheless, Fam es said he finds it difficult to be a Christian on this campus.

“There is a vocal element o f the college that wants to equate religious practice with anti-intellectualism and un­fortunately, as accepting as W hitm an can be in so many other wonderful ways, there's a attitude which for some says it's O K to speak badly o f religion,” said Kirtley.

“I think a lot o f people are reactionary about turning away from their faith or their parents' faith and become more anti-religious and unnecessarily so,” said Hooyboer.“I find that a lot at W hitman. I think that because we are a very homogenous environment o f liberal-minded, non­religious people that this attitude is reinforced.”

“I see that as one o f my great challenges in this office— to try to bolster religious groups on this campus and that for those who want it, who want to express their faith, However, that is not to say that Whitman Seminary did not have they can do so in a safe environment,” said Kirtley. religious roots.

W h itm a n 's re lig io u sby Jamie Soukup

news editor

Before Whitman became an official college in 1882, it opened its doors as Whitman Seminary in 1866. The Reverend Cushing Eels obtained the charter for the school in 1859 to honor his friends and colleagues, missionaries Marcus and Narcissa Whitman, who were killed by Cay- use Native Americans in 1847.

Contrary to some present student-held beliefs, the school did not open as the kind o f seminary which prepares students for ministry. Seminary instead meant only that school served as a pre-collegiate academy.

14Opinion Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Kenya: The next Darfur Waging a war of the pen: Get 'them' out

A m onth after what many African countries would regard as an ac­com plishm ent, Kenya’s future keeps looking bleaker by the day.

In the wake o f incum bent-fixed general elections, Kenya is on the verge o f genocide not unlike that which took (or ‘‘takes,” depending on whom you ask) place in D arfur.

On D ec. 27, Kenyans went to the polls to advance a 15-year tradition that further emphasized their long­term com m itm ent to democracy. Since 1992, the year o f Kenya’s first m ultiparty general elections follow ­ing the precedent set forth by their founding father Jom o Kenyatta, Kenya has enjoyed three relatively successful elections.These elections, however, came

with their own caveats. Heaps o f controversial killings and spadefuls o f political corruption allegations diluted the success o f the first two Kenyan general elections.

T he last, held in 2 0 0 2 , was the m ost uncontam inated o f the three. I t finally put Kenya on the map in term s o f successful A frican democ­racies. Then, President Mwai K i- baki focused his campaign on im­proving three items applicable to all o f A frica: education, econom ics and anti-corruption.Y et campaign promises alm ost al­

ways follow the same trajectory into oblivion; ones that are kept are few and far between. Mr. K ibaki’s are no exception. As evidenced by the latest election— and, in fact, by his blissful ignorance o f the issue dur­ing the entirety o f his term— Presi­dent K ibaki has all but failed m iser­ably on his third item.

Mr. K ibaki prom ised the Kenyan people that he was com m itted to m aintaining a transparent dem oc­racy and ridding Kenya o f extrem ­ist tyranny. W hile vice president, he candidly said that “there is no room for com m unists in Kenya.” I can’t help but dream o f what Kenya would look like today had Mr. K i­baki spent as much time fervently fighting corruption as he did com ­munism, like he promised.

By rigging the general elections, Mr. K ibaki is fom enting the cliché that is the duplicity o f A frican lead­ers to preach dem ocratic values to a fault and then abandon them in one fell swoop once they obtain power. It Is*a-'sad vogdfe-tfiat n e e d e d be

pulled from the political shelves.N ot yet three days after the polls

had opened, Kenyans realized that their democracy m ight soon be im ­periled by the likes o f a cocky, high- class, A frican cabal they once held in esteem.

Form er President B ill C linton once rightly praised M r. K ibaki for his governm ent’s “decision to abolish school fees for primary education.” T his laudable policy led to the sub­sequent enrollm ent o f 1.7 m illion more school-aged Kenyans. I t is too bad that Mr. K ibaki did not follow suit on the anti-corruption front.Like in N igeria last A pril, Congo

D .R . last year or E thiopia the year before that, opposition supporters reacted to the fixed elections with violence.

Soon -to-be 1,000 deaths and 350 ,000 displaced people later, Kenyans are ethnically torn by a blood-spilling government-versus- tribe debacle.In D arfur, the violence between

the governm ent-financed Janjaw eed coup and the opposition forces stemmed from deep-seated reli­gious, ethnic and cultural d iffer­ences. It was a tragic case o f the op­pressed, the S.L .M . and J .E .M . and others, calling out the oppressor, the Muslim-led government.

In Kenya the violence is between the Kikuyus, the home tribe o f Mr. K ibaki; the Luo, the home tribe o f opposition leader Raila O dinga; and K alen jin tribes, those who initiated the outcries o f corruption— another tragic case o f the oppressed calling out the oppressor.T his was Kenya’s calling. I t was

their calling to continue the exam­ple they had begun to set with free elections over the last decade and a half. And after the last election, which was a success by any measure, we thought it was a given that Mr. K ibaki and his governm ent would get it right again.

W ell, we were all wrong. N ot only did Mr. K ibaki and his coup o f political elitists slight the Kenyan people but they slighted A frica as a whole: extinguishing hope for up and com ing A frican democracies in M auritania, Malawi, Zambia and Nam ibia, among others.

K o fi A nnan, form er United Na­tions secretary-general and media­tor o f this co n flic t, made progress the other day when he convinced Mr. K ibaki and Mr. Odinga to speak to one another. Soon, the A f­rican Union w ill preside over a con­ference o f A frican leaders that w ill attem pt to harness the Kenyan is-

' ■ * continued bn page 17- * *

by Sophie Johnsoneditor-in-chief

I want to declare all-out war on a word.

And it’s not an easy word to wage a full-scale assault on, either: I ’m not hoping to silence the overused mind­less insults (the N-word, “gay,” “re­tarded,” etc.— although while we’re on the subject, grow up and find bet­ter insults already), nor am I hoping to exorcise annoyingly trendy catchwords from the 20-something vernacular (I ’m done with “forevs” and “hella,” personally, but you can keep on using them to your heart’s content).

No, the word I ’d like to see put to death is a much less obvious one— a silently malicious one-syllable villain who continues to wreak havoc on American political discourse and oth­erwise-intelligent discussions.

The word is “they.” “They” and “them” and “their,” really. I know, I know: You think it’s a pretty innocent little pronoun. The American Heri­tage Dictionary defines “they” as a pronoun “Used to refer to the ones

previously mentioned or implied.” I ’ll admit: It seems pretty safe.

But scratch a little beneath the sur­face. I f you read on to the second definition, you’ll find that “they” is commonly used “to refer to people in general as seen in a position o f au­thority.”Bingo.We use “they” to make groups. It

is fundamentally a term o f separa­tion: This group is different from this group for these reasons. When we say “they” we are usually using our “posi­tion o f authority” to keep one gigan­tic group o f people under a collective umbrella.

This manifests itself most frus- tratingly in discussions o f minority groups: race, class, gender, socio-eco­nomic standing, etc. In fact, I might argue that it’s unheard o f to have a discussion about one o f these things without the word “they.”

A few examples: In 1984, a 600- word article in The Christian Century on handicapped people used the word “they” (or a version o f it) 20 times (one instance: “They and their fami­lies must learn to live with constant

fragmentation and brokenness”); Last November, M SNBC aired a five-

part series entitled “African-Ameri­can Women: Where They Stand”; and at the Plenary Session o f Whitman’s Second Annual Symposium on Diver­sity and Community the word was ut­tered more than 30 times, with nearly every lecturer saying it at least once.

These may all seem like unexception­al examples: What’s the big deal? So people use the word “they.” So what?The big deal is that Americans are

obsessed with categorizing. The ubiq­uity o f the word “they” in discussions about minority groups demonstrates that we need all people to fit into so­cial or psychological patterns so that we can analyze them better. The prob­lem is that we too often expect people to adhere too closely to what are sup­posed to be loose guidelines, not uni­versal rules.

Last week, StarCom MediaVest C EO Renetta McCann revealed research that showed that by 2010, the annual buying power o f America’s multicul­tural consumer is expected to surpass that o f Caucasians. As a result, her agency has launched a full-fledged study o f the “broad” African-Ameri­can audience in a project called “Be-

- continued on page 17-

Learning to trust what you consum e

by Connor Guycolumnist

I ’m scared o f my food. Bu t who’s not?

These days, it seems like everyone is becom ing aware o f the many dis­gusting truths about what we eat. In fact, the Food M ar­keting Institu te reports that only 66 percent o f A m ericans th ink that the food they buy is safe.In case it’s been a while

since you’ve searched the Intern et with the intention o f scaring yourself, allow me to bring you up to date.

T he Food and D rug Adm inistra­tion (FD A ) is responsible for in­specting just about all im ported foods, except for m ost m eats and poultry, which are the responsibil­ity o f the U .S. D epartm ent o f A g­riculture.

T h e FD A Web site lists alerts for Violations’ again^t it«1 cocles; JC tn ohg

the more disturbing o f these are reports o f seafood products re ject­ed because o f E . co li, dangerous chem icals, unapproved preserva­tives and “ filth .”These reports m ight not seem so

frightening on their own; these are all cases that have been investigat­ed and dealt with. These products are not reaching consum ers.

Bu t there are only 85 FD A work­ers who inspect seafood. They are

In t il recently, we were a ll eating dangerous butter flavoring . .

our microwave popcorn.

responsible for inspecting approxi­mately 6 .6 m illion tons o f im ported seafood every year. T h a t’s alm ost 1 ,000 pounds o f seafood every minute for each worker. W ith in ­spectors working at such a pace, I wonder how m uch “filth ” is m aking it through to our dinner plates.

In November, U SA Today pointed out another huge problem : In many cases, the private laboratories that

* l e s t " o tn e i 'im ported »foods aren't ------

even allowed to automatically re­port their findings to the FD A .

T h is means that i f one o f these laboratories finds som ething wrong with a shipment o f food, the im-. porter can just go to a less reputable lab to get the bad food approved and shipped through.

Apart from issues o f quality and taintedness, there are also plenty o f scary additives and chem icals that end up in our food.

U ntil recently, we were all eating dangerous but­ter flavoring, diacetyl, in our microwave popcorn. T he nation’s biggest m i­crowave popcorn makers only began to phase out this chem ical in Septem -

and even then they were notber,sure how long it would take to get rid o f it completely. We may still be eating it.

Many diet sodas contain the arti­fic ia l sweetener aspartam e, which has been shown to cause cancer in studies as far back as 1970 and as recently as 2005.

T here are so many dangerous

tomrnnat on pagi

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Opinion15

A DIY R evo lu tio n : Finding h a p p in e ss one project at a tim e

by Katie Presleycolumnist

I t ’s the middle o f w inter, and lots o f people are sad. T h ere’s not enough color in thè world, especially after Walla W alla’s out-of-control snow­storm . Everything just seems mut­ed. And so we are sad.

Here is my proposal for feeling better. S tart a little revolution. A little art revolution.

Truly, o f all the revolutions in the

world to start, o f all the things I write about in this colum n to make you feel guilty, this is probably the easiest one to actually do. You just make some art.

O f course I have'my political rea­sons for saying this. M aking your own goods takes money away from corporate Am erica and gives it to other D o-It-Y ourselfers (D IY ) in ­stead. W hen the largest business you’re supporting is Jo an n Fabrics, you’re well on your way to changing the world.

I started th inking about this right before'C hristm as, when my' young­est sister declared that she would

no longer hang any art on her walls that was not handmade by someone she knew. She was my Secret Santa, So I took a m ental note and made her her first art.

It was possibly the m ost liberating thing I ’ve ever done. I felt like a better person. A better artist, bet­ter sister, better fem inist. I stuck it to the man and gave Annie som e­thing that required absolutely no input from the great U .S. o f C or­porate A. Everything was vintage, and I ’d had the poster board since ninth grade. W hich counts as vin­tage to me.So what I ’m trying to say is, pun

intended, do it yourself. I t ’s easy, cheap and relentlessly satisfying. It starts with collecting.T he first step is spending more

tim e in secondhand stores. I f I spend less than two hours in one, I ’ve rushed myself. L ots o f sec-, ondhand stores are hooked up to a charity o f some kind, so the money you spend stays in the store, and i f it leaves goes to another good cause. N o suited man in a M iami penthouse benefits when you visitG oodw ill.

So buy T H IN G S . Ju st things. Books for collaging, the stranger the better. P ictures o f birds. D ress­

es. Ju st buy old, pretty things that smell like dust, perfum e and per­fection . I p ro m ise ‘that when you wake up in the m orning and get dressed in vintage clothes, you will feel more like a work o f art. W hich w ill then make you want to make more works o f art. W hich means you will not be sad.

Resources for becom ing a D IY er abound. W hitm an’s bookstore car­ries crafting magazines as well as fem inist tomes like Bust, Venusyne and Bitch, all o f which have exten­sive craft sections with directions

-continued on page 17-

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Opinion Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 200816

Bushey

After renovation, Safeway offers customers a more enjoyable experience by including a new Starbucks island.

'Ghetto Safeway' gets elegant face-lift

As every W hitm an student knows by now, the Rose St. Safeway has a new look. Old yellowing linoleum has been replaced, the outside l ia s acquired some sort o f weird stone block look and Starbucks, o f all things, has been added to the entry way.

T he remodel o f “ghetto” Safe­way makes the whole store much brighter and cleaner. N ot all areas were fixed up equally, though, and besides just a new look the product m ix has changed in small and inter­esting ways.

O ne o f the m ost obvious changes is the increase in the size o f the deli and prepared food section. Besides just expanding both departments, there is additional seating around the deli inside and outside the store. *So far,I have only seen employees smoking out at those tables and benches, but I would not be surprised i f warmer weather brings many people, includ­ing W hitm an students, out there for their lunch break.

You can also see a bi$>; change in the ?

way Safeway markets the food at the deli. N icer packaging with bright images that evoke more o f a home cooked, sit-down m eal, while still being a take-out item, makes you feel a lo t better about the fact that you are bringing home ready-made gro­cery store food for dinner instead o f cooking one yourself. In addition, the m ix has becom e more varied in the way o f soups and salads, giving it a more upper class deli kind o f feel, alm ost Merchants-esque.W ith these additions, plus the

Starbucks, the entire front h a lf o f the store looks a lot more like a restaurant than a grocery store, which is probably what the archi­tects were going for. Fewer people cook, and so the m arket for ready to eat foods is som ething that gro­cery stores are ready to tap into. Especially in W alla W alla where m ost o f the lunch spots are either fast food or ultra-expensive, there is likely a good niche to be filled by adding more deli. A lso, when go­ing to shop for dinner ingredients, who would not be tempted to buy som ething ready to eat rather than go through all the trouble to take the raw m aterials home to assemble a meal?

As far as the product m ix goes, the store has certainly moved in more

o f a “bourgeois” direction than its form er “proletariat” fare (as some pretentious W hitm an students used to refer to it). More o f the Safeway “O ” organic brands are present, as well as other packaged natural and organic foods. T h is is m ost obvious in the grocery and frozen foods sec­tion. O verall the selection o f prod­ucts hasn’t been expanded much, just the price tag.

Though spiffed up, the produce, dairy and meat areas— where little exists in the way o f ready to eat and shiny plastic— is a little less im ­portant. The’ product m ix has not changed much. T he organic section in produce still leaves a lot to be de­sired and is mostly relegated to the margins. So those that do pass by the deli section to buy their fresh foods to cook at home have the same sorts o f choices to make as they did in November.

The remodel o f Rose Street Safe­way certainly leaves a nicer impres­sion than the old dingy one. The end result is likely m ost o f the same foods in nicer packaging and at higher prices. It seems that “ghet­to” Safeway finally realized that it wasn’t really in much o f a ghetto, but actually only a few blocks away from an expensive liberal arts college.

Spiritually coming of age at Whitman College

by Todd Hawes columnist

Spending one’s late teens and early 20s in a community that supports intellectualism, personal growth and the autonomy necessary both to have fun and make mistakes is an effective way o f becoming really smart and, if you so choose, getting really drunk.

This is all good, and I don’t know any W hitman students who persisr tently regret having gone to college. Perhaps this is due to the nature o f the average Whitman student—-there is little chance that the type o f per­son who would seriously consider attending Whitman would at the same time consider skipping college a lto g eth er-—but a large • element o f this positive sentiment comes from a philoso­phy that places a high degree o f value on thé indi­vidual and his or her development as a “total human being.”

I wonder i f the extent to whichthis philosophy determines one’s ex­perience at Whitman makes us the worst kind o f selfish: intensely aware of, and ostensibly even concerned about, the tremendous ills o f the world but at the same time spend­ing hours in class every day talking about obscure modern poetry or the igneous rock cycle— or writing this article.

Yes, a degree from Whitman, and the experiences that piece o f paper implies, most likely will be helpful in contributing something o f great value to the world someday, how­ever subtle its expression; but I also find an extension o f this dilemma in spirituality. Amidst this tremendous opportunity for self improvement, do we irretrievably abandon contact with our souls at this auspicious time o f emerging consciousness? Would four years in a monastic setting bring us closer to that emerging conscious­ness? What i f this monastic setting was attainable even outside religion at a place like Deep Springs College? I f you want to put a new perspective on Whitman, check out Deep Springs. Is this even desirable at our age or are

we too naive to handle that sort of exposure? .

First, though, I ’d like to begin ex­ploring the ways in which Whitman may provide, in its experiential total­ity, a spiritual experience. I ’ll be en­gaging this topic from a different per­spective each week, but I ’ll start with the most palatable: partying.

It’s early in the semester and there’s little work to be done (well, still a lot o f work, but framed by finals past and finals to come, relative percep­tion reigns). While the acrid- taste o f procrastination mixed with guilt ' seems to envelope every sip o f Key­stone later in the semester, now is a pretty care-free time to have a beer, or a joint, or a line. O r all three, or some method o f inebriation as yet Un­known to me.

W hile we’re no Reed College, I get the sense in talking to friends at other schools that Whitman rages

pretty hard, as evidenced by the numerous fra­ternity and off- campus parties that occur regu­larly, irrespective o f the day o f the week. W hen we wake up in the morning, or even before then, upon the celebration of X number o f boat

races won or the last paper in a pack o f King-Size Zig-Zags, we must con­front the reality o f our existence here. We must ask, who am I, what am I do­ing here, and why does my head hurt so badly? Though one may respond to these questions in a variety o f ways, or not all, the sheer unavoidability of their asking represents a forced re­flection on the way in which we live our lives, an atonement o f sorts.

Partying has its undeniably positive aspects,, the joyous collective pursuit o f the Bacchanal among friends being one o f them; we need the Hellenistic balance to our lives as committed scholars, such that the atonement is genuine: There has to be some rec­onciliation o f values. For that alone, we would all be remiss in denying the spiritual relevance o f four years of college, particularly W hitman Col- lege.As part o f this atonement, however,

we must weigh the relative values of what we hold in our hands: Is my sen­sual being shamefully selfish when I choose to hold a 40 over a rosary, and a bong over a Bible? Answers to these

, and more will follow—“just let me fin-

a . upon the celebra- . tion o f X number o f boat races won or the

last paper in a p ack o f King-Si^e Z ig-Z agsw e must confront the realk ~

ity o f our existence here *

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Opinion17

‘Them’: Time to say goodbye Kenya: L e a rn in g from our m istakes-continued from page 14-

yond Demographics.” The project is ' backed by BET.

Essentially, this project is about taking one “them” (African-Ameri­cans), and turning it into 12 “thems.” McCann’s research has separated all black people into 12 different categories-—“backboners,” whoinclude postal workers, nurses and bus drivers, making up 20 percent o f the black population; “devouts,” who are the religious and modest non-consumers making up 12 per­cent o f the black population; and 10 others, which remain unreleased. Each group is to be studied exhaus­tively so that B E T (and ostensibly other television networks) can know what to schedule in their prime-time slots.

It’s a good marketing tactic.The problem is that this kind o f di­

visive categorizing too often extends outside the marketing world, and gets into our basic mindsets. Making generalizations is quick, easy, and is still widely accepted as legitimate even in liberal-minded circles. It’s just simpler for us to shove every­thing complicated into neat, orderly boxes (check a box for your race; gender; economic standing; father’s profession; mother’s highest level o f educatiori; the list goes on).

Race, for instance, is becoming a trickier and trickier subject as the American population shifts.

In “Brown: The Last Discovery o f America,” Richard Rodriguez deals with the meaning o f the word “His­panic”: “There is no such thing as Hispanic blood. . .. Though I meet young Hispanics who imagine they descend from it.”

Hispanics are an Americanized race. The term exists because the U.S. Census decided it needed to ex­ist in the ‘70s order to create clearer categories— that is, ¿t identifies Latin American individuals living in the United States regardless o f race (i.e., Mexican people, Puerto Rican people, Colombian people, and a slew o f oth­ers now fit into a nice, neat category). Rodriguez has a problem with the term because it lumps people together who have nothing in common. It al­lows Americans to simplify an issue that is too complicated to easily com­prehend.

Although Americans continue to adopt aspects o f “Hispanic” cul­ture— food, certain words, bilingual instruction booklets-— we neglectwhat has to be taken away to allow for this assimilation o f cultures. We begin to see others as only belonging to “an ethnic group”— an “us/them” mentality, i f you well— and our desire to celebrate diversity dissolves into a knee-jerk reaction to merely recog­nize difference. As Rodriguez puts it, “Only America could create Hispan: ics, Asians, Africans, Americans.”

And so America, despite its good intentions, continues to build racists, sexists, classists, homophobes, etc. with its insistence on categorization.

See, not all African-Americans want slavery reparations; not all women are going to vote for Hillary; not all hand­icapped people want their tax dollars to go towards making their public li­braries more handicapped-accessible. Humans are unique—-which is often a reality too easy to forget.

The first step to reclaiming our in­dividuality, then, should be to put a mutual ban on this all-encompassing word, once and for all. I f not for you, then dp it for them.

sue. Though this is a long way from resolution, it is something.

For now, however, the fighting continues. Mr. A nnan has specu­lated that Kenya could be without a governm ent for at least several

-continued from page 14-

chem icals out there in our favor­ite foods; it’s truly scary. I f you’re looking for a bit o f unsettling truth, google “dangerous food additives.” They’re lurking in your hummus and your breakfast cereal.

Som etim es all this inform ation makes me want to take a page out o f Candide’s book and cultivate my own garden. T hat way I ’d be completely in control o f my food, and I ’d know exactly where it came from.

-continued from page 15-

for any number o f projects. Start listening to music like Regina Spe- ktor’s. She’s independent and pre- ternaturally adorable. O ne o f her songs reminds us that cutting one’s own h air;; never co sts ' any money, which is true. * Yet another way for your appearance to be part o f your artistic revolution. G o to one o f Walla Walla’s several fantastic secondhand cloth in g stores, all o f which carry more than just clothes.

O nce you have a sizable co llec­tion o f strange-sm elling things and

m onths i f not a year or longer. Jen - dayi Frazer, the top U .S. diplomat to A frica, stopped vowels short last Wednesday o f calling the situation in Kenya “genocide.”

L e t’s not make the same mistake

Apparently, this is actually a popular notion. M ore than a h alf m illion people participate in com ­munity gardens in the United States and Canada. I t ’s a really cool idea: They bring greenery to c ities, bring neighbors together and provide people with an inexpensive food source.

But recently, surveys have shown that many o f these com m unity gar­dens— especially those in urban settings— are contam inated with lead and arsenic.

It seems that there is no way to

you’re starting to wonder why you ever listened to me, you’re ready to create. There is, so much to be said for tearing pages out o f old N ation al G eographies and sewing them into fabric from the art studio or from Jo an n ’s. Days pass so that you don’t notice the white sky, and at the end o f it you’ve made som ething. The best part about D IY is that the “ I t” is always a thing. W hen you have “done it yourself,” som ething ex­ists when you’re done that didn’t before.

O f course, i f you’re in the D IY game to damn the m an, then you’ll

we made with D arfur. T he fighting w ill not wait for political reconcili­ation.

But with no signs o f slowing down so far, Kenya is on course to ethnic divide.

Eating: How to deal with mystery additives

DIY: Getting rid of the winter blues

avoid the unpleasant by-products o f our modern world.

Maybe the only practical way o f dealing with all this inform ation is turning a blind eye to it. People have been exposed to far worse in the past and survived.T here are just so many scary

things out there, known and un­known, that it seems kind o f hope­less to try to avoid them all. My ad­vice is tb eat unabashedly what you would otherw ise; there’s no use in paralyzing yourself w ith too much inform ation.

want more than m agazines. You’ll want to learn to can your own food, sew your own clothes, bake your own bread and make your own mu­sic. And I say, i f you’re going to do anything radical in your life , do this.

W ho knows? I f it turns out you’re really good at a particu lar craft, you can start selling it. Eventually one o f those craftin g magazines w ill hear about you, and your work w ill inspire others who are sitting around w ondering when the snow w ill m elt and the grass w ill come through.

Whitman College Pioneer Staff - Spring 2008Sophie johnson - Editor-in-Chief Andrew Jesaitis * Editor-in-Chief

Eden Essick - Managing Editor

EditorsJamie Soukup - News Editor

Elsbeth Otto - Feature Editor Beth Frieden - Politics Editor

Harrison Berry - Opinion Editor Christina Russell - Local News Editor

Autumn McCartan - AftE Editor Sally Sorte - Life Editor

Lisa Curtis - Outdoors Editor Andy Jobanek - Sports Editor

Evan Cartwright - Humor Editor Sarah Hathaway - Humor Editor

Avi Conant - Art Editor Brett Axelrod - Photography Editor Bryan Sonderman - the ear Editor

Production Ian Pilgrim - Copy Editor

Aakanksha Veenapani - Copy Editor Andrew Witherspoon - Production Editor

Matt Manley - Production Editor

Staff WritersLauren Beebe, Margaux Cameron, Katie Combs,

Gillian Frew, Brennan Jorgensen , Kara McKay, Melissa Navarro, Laura Niman, Heather Nichols-Haining,

Elise Otto, Mimi Pysno, Karlis Rokpelnis, Ana Salazar-Walsh, Gabriela Salvidea, Molly Smith,

Kim Sommers, Derek Thurber, Geordy Wang

Contributing Writers Lauren Adler, Matt Aliabadi, Eli Asch, Alice Bagley,

Danny Crytser, Will Canine, Maggie Carr, Lawrence Grandpre, Teal Greyhavens, Connor Guy,

Todd Hawes, Bryce McKay, Becquer Medak-Seguin, James Truitt, Emily Percival, Lizzie Potter-Roth, Katie

Presley, Kevin Van Meter, Gary Wang, Charlie Wittman-Todd, Brian Woods

Photographers Glory Bushey, Eduardo Duquez, Ben Hayes,

Laure Hisada, Ellie Klein, Carol Schaffer

liiustratorsJason Brain, Meghan Carlson, Gayle Chung,

Lauren Hisada, Elena Mitchel, Sylvia Imbrock, Casey Roberts

Editorial policyThe Whitman College Pioneer Is published under the auspices of the Associated Students of Whitman College. The purpose of the Pioneer Is to inform, entertain and provide both a catalyst and a forum for communication within the Whitman community. The Pioneer’s editorial responsibility lies not in presenting a particular viewpoint or agenda, but in representing a variety of opinions.

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Politics Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Separating fact from fiction in Pakistan crucial for

by Lawrence Grandprecolumnist

The screen shows a mass o f faceless Muslim men angrily raising their fists in protest, while in the background a woman sings in Arabic in a pas­sionate, ethereal voice. Just as you can almost feel the hot desert wind and taste the sand, an omi­nous narration comes on to tell you o f “an enemy without border,” “a people perverted” and “a nuclear power in chaos.” Angry men in turbans yell into microphones, launch rockets and blow up roads. The message is clear: America must be prepare for whatever radical Islam has to throw at it, which apparently includes everything but the kitchen sink.The ad for former presidential candidate Rudy

Giuliani entitled “Ready” illustrates how Ameri­can political discourse has detached the “Islamic world” from reality, presenting it as a nebulous force that directly connotes danger. There is no better example o f this than the national discus­sion about Pakistan, the nameless “nuclear power in chaos” alluded to in the Giuliani ad. The D e­cember assassination o f pro-democracy leader Benazir Bhutto sent shockwaves throughout Pakistan, postponing parliamentary elections scheduled for January and turning many against strongman president Pervez Musharraf, who is accused o f not protecting Bhutto sufficiently. It did noty however, send the nation into anarchy.

Pakistan is down, but defiantly not out. The movement that Bhutto personified did not die with her. The New American reports her Pakistani People Party is still positioned to deliver a re­sounding defeat to Islamists in the rescheduled Feb. 18 elections (even i f , as many fear, the vote may be not entirely free and open).

It certainly did not put their nuclear weapons on

a silver platter for any militant with a hankering to kill some infidels. As the L .A Times reported on Jan. 27, Pakistani nuclear weapons are sub­ject to several levels o f safeguards, including a 10,000 person strong security force: While Pakistan has refused an American offer o f Per­missive Action Links, devices designed to pro­tect nuclear weapons from unauthorized use, they have a similar system that requires three upper level officials to enter security codes to arm a warhead. Any stolen warhead would be useless without this secret information.

Yet the American discussion around Pakistan continues to center around threat projections that are not only inaccurate, but also have po­tentially serious political consequences. There has been increasing talk about America need­ing a contingency plan in the case o f an Islamist coup, whereby American military forces would enter Pakistan to protect their nuclear weap­ons. This type o f worst case scenario planning does nothing to abate Pakistani fears about having the American military on its doorstep in Afghanistan and feeds anti-American sen­timent in a nation almost universally seen as American’s most important ally in the War on Terror.

Other policies being discussed also carry dan­gers. The most likely scenario for an American military intervention in Pakistan is the one pos­ited by presidential candidate Barack Obama, where America chases Al-Qaeda and/or Taliban rebels from neighboring Afghanistan into Paki­stan. This disrespect o f a nation’s sovereign rights is the kind o f thing perpetrated only against perceived “failed states,” and risks monumental backlash from the rank and file Pakistani, the long-term negative results o f which would al­most certainly outweigh any short-term benefits from eliminating a few radicals. Thus, the rheto­ric around Pakistan risks creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, where American foreign policy begins to treat Pakistan as a threat, as, in response, Paki-

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stan becomes one.America’s stance toward Paki­

stan ignores the golden rule o f counter-terror­ism: Force alone is not enough. Only by engag­ing moderates in the Islamic world can America soften its image and dry up the pool o f poten­tial militant recruits. America should change its policy toward Pakistan to reflect this reality. This would include tempering our support for Mush­arraf and demanding he stop his anti-democratic policies, such as arresting protesters. This change would alfco involve supporting not just the Paki­stani military establishment in its counter-ter­rorism campaign, but also Pakistani civil soci­ety. By funding things like education, America could show that this relationship actually helps the average Pakistani, increasing support for

America and its actions. It is only within this kind o f environ­

ment that Pakistani officials will feel no need to do things like reject American help safeguard­ing weapons to show “national pride,” and politi­cians could support America and its ideals with less threat o f popular backlash (and for that mat­ter, assassination).

Fighting Islamic extremism is a difficult task that will inevitably involve errors, but it is time America starts learning from its mistakes and stops repeating them. Actions that imply Ameri­can superiority, such as telling a proud nation that they have somehow “failed,” are certainly not part o f the solution. Until American politics reflects a sensitivity to these types o f concerns, we had better be “ready” for new generations of terrorist responding to our myopic hubris.

The power of the tracking poll: The media's new role in elections

According to an American Research Group tracking poll done in New Hamp­shire, as o f Jan. 5, Sen. Obama led Sen. Clinton by 12 points. A double-digit lead seemed to spell the end for Clinton’s cam­paign in the New Hampshire primary, and for the following days, this was the headline announced and regurgitated by the media. After the actual voting (gasp! Voting!), after all the ballots were count­ed, Clinton was announced the winner with 39 percent of the vote, Obama trail­ing her by 3 points.

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popped into my mind o f what she elo­quently termed the media’s narrative— the story the media tells to tickle itself, with a tenuous hold on reality and a sometimes reckless disregard for the consequences that might ensue.

I do not wish to take a side on this issue; as a Democrat, I have weighed the merits o f both Clinton and Obama in my mind, and am yet undecided about who I ’ll cast my vote for. Ask me today, it might be Obama. Tomorrow, Clinton. The point is, I wish to point out how the media’s role in the New Hampshire may have swayed the election in Clinton’s favor without mak­ing a statement about whether I approve o f the direction o f this tampering (how­ever unintentional) or notYou see, tracking polls such as the ones

conducted by nearly every media oudet imaginable are tricky things. They reduce

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these likely voters are weeded out from the masses by answering questions about their past voting record. Say for the past 20 years you’ve written in your own name on every ballot that’s ever been tossed in your direction. You’re an ««likely voter, and the pollster will thank you for your time and hang up.

I f you make it through the first round o f cuts, you’re asked a number o f questions, the Big Kahuna o f which is something along the lines of, “I f the election were held today, who would you vote for?” But o f course the election is not being held that day, and there are several days still to go— several days for the respondent to change his or her mind. Research groups are, o f course, aware o f this, and so con­duct tracking polls over the course o f sev­eral days to attain less time-specific data. This information is then used by cam-

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the media to make rash assumptions. Problems inherent in the tracking poll

system: People change their minds, un­likely voters do, lo and behold, vote, and perhaps the most influential chunk o f the voting block is not people who’ve been waiting for months to vote for their pet candidate, but the independents and late- dedders who make their choice in the car on the way to their preferred polling place. There is a lot o f information that tracking polls simply cannot take into account

But back to my beef with the media. When the media took Obama’s 12-13 point lead and ran with it, I think a lot o f female voters got anxious as Clinton got pounded, especially by exuberant pundit personalities such as Chris Mat­thews. There is a lot o f speculation that such insistence about Clinton’s loss got more women to the polls, women who

emerged from Clinton’s negative media coverage.Whether or not this reactionary vote

won the election for Clinton is debatable. But qualms over tjie use o f tracking polls and particularly its cousin, the exit poll, have been around for a long time, result­ing in exit poll prohibitions. The fear is that projecting a winner before the ballots are counted can sway late-deciders or, as in New Hampshire, motivate voters who might have otherwise stayed home.

I do not wish to say die women who voted for Clinton shouldn’t have, or that Obama was cheated out o f a victory; I wish to say that so long as the media is going to manipulate information into the most exciting version o f truth, we should be aware that everything that reaches us does so by way o f a lens o f some kind. It may or may not be a lens that proves ulri-

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February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Politics19

Oregon's options: What flavor Democrat are you?

Oregon, I don’t know how it happened, but you have an awful junior sena­tor. Gordon Smith voted for the war, against re-affirming Roe v. Wade and against cheaper Medicaid drugs for senior citizens. He has a 14 percent rating by the League o f Conservation Voters, voted for drilling in ANWR (after promising in a campaign com­mercial he would oppose it) and consis­tently votes against efforts to increase fuel economy standards. He has rubber stamped Bush, voting with him 90 per­cent o f the time, and believes that il­legal wire taps are more important than America’s civil liberties. To a liberal o f my persuasion, he is a political bad guy o f the worst stripe. Americans need to rally for this election to cleanse the Sen­ate o f Bush-enabling Republicans.

It’s a good thing Smith is coming up for election again this November, and a good thing we have some good candi­dates to run against him. What follows is a profile o f the two leading candi­dates for the Democratic nomination to unseat Smith this election. Choose the one you like and be sure to vote in the primary on May 20!OF THE SYSTEM: Born in Myrtle

Creek, a saw mill town in southwestern Oregon, Je ff Merkley went through the local public schools and on to Stanford to earn a free ride to the Woodrow Wil­son School o f Public and International Affairs. Merkley worked his way up in local politics to achieve the post o f Director o f Housing Development at Human Solutions. He has been in the state congress, representing the people o f Portland since 1998.

Merkley is now the Oregon State Speaker o f the House and has, accord­ing to his Web site, “led one o f the most effective, efficient and progressive leg­islative sessions in Oregon’s history/’ Merkley pushed through legislation re­quiring that 25 percent o f the energy in Oregon be created by renewable means before the year 2025 and gave tax breaks to companies that produce bio­fuels. He championed the Family Fair­ness Act that gave same-sex couples ba­sic rights as well as the Oregon Equality Act, which outlawed discrimination in housing and the workplace.

Merkley is the frontrunner in the race, having been endorsed by nearly all the major unions and progressive groups in Oregon. He has broken fund-rais­ing records for an Oregon challenger

by -earning close to $1 million so far and establishing a base o f over one mil­lion online supporters. Merkley is the party-prototype, attempting to prove it is his turn to move to the next level after a lifetime o f hard work and pro­gressive achievement within the politi­cal syst&n.

OUT OF LEFT FIELD: In one o f Steve Novick’s campaign ads, the cam­era pans a row o f respectable looking white guys with John Kerry hair-dos. Each o f them says “I am Steve Novick” and then drops a bomb about why Ore­gon should vote for him. After the third politico stereotype in a row, the camera pans more to the right; centering on the top half o f 4’ 9” Steve Novick’s head. “Actually,” he says, “I ’m the real Steve Novick.. .1 don’t look like the typical politician, but I won’t act like one ei­ther, I ’ll fight for the little guy.”

Novick is running as the different Democrat, riding the wave o f firsts this election (first black man and first women competitive for President, first openly gay man running for Senate, etc.) by being the first Senatorial can­didate with a hook for a left hand and half the bones in his legs. But Novick’s less-than-perfect body is made up for by an exceptional mind: He entered fhe University o f Oregon at 14, after drop­ping out o f middle school, and finished Harvard Law by 21.

Novick was the chief prosecutor in the Love Canal case, forcing Occiden­tal Chemical to pay for the habitat they destroyed. More recently, he beat back attempts by uber-conservative Bill Size­more to slash entidement and educadon funding. Having never been on* a ticket himself, Novick has organized many Democrats’ campaigns in Oregon.

Novick’s online policy page is nu- anced, creative and right in articulating current problems and solutions span­ning a field o f issues much broader than the hot topics o f this election year. Way behind the Merkley machine, Novick faces a long shot; he’s the hyper-in­telligent mega-liberal outsider to Je ff Merkley’s well established Democratic candidacy.

Like our mutual ‘fave’ John Edwards, Novick will dictate the policy discus­sion o f this campaign, using his grasp on a multitude o f issues to challenge Merkley’s credibility on the left. But Novick will also struggle for attention, probably resorting to hard-ball tactics to gain camera time. In the meanwhile, don’t hold your breath waiting for Merk­ley to engage; expect him to use his lead to try and coast to victory ignoring Novick as much as possible. It’s a safe tactic; Under-funded, under-supported mega-liberals always'tight uphilh ,

Identity matters for Obama's campaign

W hen Barack Obam a burst onto the political scene in 200,4, I thought he was a bit overrated. One good speech, sure, but that doesn’t make eight years in the Illin ois State Sen­ate and less than a full term in the Senate enough experience for the m ost im portant job in the world.

Even in 2007 as the presidential campaign heated up, I still thought he was overrated. He gave inspir­ing speeches but was tim id in the debates. He seemed untested, un- vetted and unsure o f what he would change about America.

He was sure o f how he would change it: by being more conciliar tory and bipartisan. T his sounded like being nicer to diehard Republi­cans, which could undo the damage the Bush A dm inistration has done to America.However, I ’m glad to say that

Obam a’s message has won me over. O r rather, H illary and B ill C lin­ton’s mendacious campaigning has turned me away from their cynicism and highlighted how unique and historical O bam a’s candidacy is.

The Clintons’ constant use o f race as a bludgeon to injure Obam a and their constant contradictory attacks on O bam a’s style and substance re­minded me that Am erica would be better served w ithout their tw o-for- the-price-of-one adm inistration.Leading up to the South Carolina

primary, which Obam a won in a landslide, with 55 percent o f the vote and huge support from the black community, the Clintons both relentlessly and insidiously ham­mered him in the press.

They first operated through their campaign surrogates who incite controversy on TV . Because some o f Obam a’s family is Muslim and im plicitly O bam a is too by asso­ciation (thank you, form er Senator B ob Kerrey) or that even O bam a’s record is a “fairy .tale” (thank you, ‘firs t black president* B ill Clinton), the introduction o f the race card that Patricia Williajms spoke so el­oquently about demonstrates why people can detest the Clintons.

T he Clintons then deride O bam a’s emphasis on change. Obam a com ­pared h im self to Reagan and H ill­ary to N ixon when, in an inter­view with a newspaper in Nevada, he explained that “Ronald Reagan changed the trajectory o f America in a way that Richard N ixon did not and in a way that B ill C linton did not. He put us on a fundamentally different path because the country was ready for it.”

Chi the surface, it seemed like a rookie m istake for Obam a to m is­calculate and compare h im self to a president who was n o t only the ideological opposite o f the D em o­cratic Party but also dealt the party some o f its biggest electoral defeats in 1980 and ‘84, and Hillary im m e­diately seized upon this quote as p ro o f o f O bam a’s apostasy.

Ironically, in 1992 B ill Clinton branded h im self as the moderate bipartisan governor w ith a sooth­ing Southern drawl who wanted to win by triangulating rather than to divide by recrim inating.

Bu t Obam a is fundamentally right.Reagan drew middle- and lower-

class white voters to the Republi­can Party that had previously sup­ported D em ocrats since FD R . His optim ism and wit allowed him to transcend the nitty gritty aspect o f presidential politics in a way that N ixon never did and Clinton never

could no m atter how hard he tried. D espite B ill C linton’s personal success in politics, the D em ocrats ended with fewer seats in the House and Senate when he left o ffice than when he entered it.

America becam e more conserva­tive because o f Ronald Reagan and B ill C linton did nothing to change that. D oes anyone actually think that a H illary Clinton presidency would realign America along a more progressive track?

So the C lintons’ attack on Obama as heretical for comparing him self to Reagan misses the point. Obama is diam etrically opposed to Rea­gan on the issues but not on his style. His other comparison cer­tainly seems apt since the Clinton campaign’s certainly engaged in N ixonian tactics in their desperate attempt to win.A fter O bam a’s overwhelming vic­

tory in South Carolina, B ill Clinton compared Obam a on T V to Jesse Jackson , who ran for the nom ina­tion in 1984 and 1988, and who in ­cidentally won the South Carolina primary but nothing else. Again, a transparent attem pt to paint Obam a into a corner as the alleged “black candidate” in the same way A1 Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Lave been.T h is approach illum inates the

stark difference between the two candidates. H illary’s attem pt to de­fine Obama on the basis o f his race reflects her belief in the politics of identity as a way to win and to gov­ern.

Obam a’s vision for politics doesn’t hinge on seeing a multitude o f in ­terest groups and voter blocs to be sliced up and satisfied through m eticulous polling. For Barack O bam a, there is only one identity that m atters and that is that we are all American-.

Primary Bulletin

Feb. 5: Primaries in 22 states. Clinton and McCain win overall but both races still close.

Feb. 9: Washington caucus! Amazingly, Tuesday didn't decide it. Your vote counts A LOT. Go vote.

Feb. 10: Maine Democratic caucus.

Feb. 12: Primaries in Maryland, DC, and Virginia for both parties.

Beth Frieden

College football recruiting rife with corruption

by Andy Jobaneksports editor

When you are at the age o f 16, men in their 40s, 50s or 60s are watching you. They film you performing and then bring the tape back to their friends to watch it together. They examine your body, looking for your slightest faults, and when they are satisfied, they call you every week ‘till you turn 18.

You are living the life o f a major col­lege football recruit.

Another year o f recruiting wrapped up on Wednesday, Feb. 6, with Nation­al Signing Day, a national holiday for voyeurs. This is the first day that high school senior football players can sign with their favorite college teams. What precedes this is a period o f increasing perversity.

The world o f Division I college foot­ball recruiting is highly competitive, so each college understandably tries to out-duel the others for prized high school prospects. The growing trend has pushed the point o f initial contact with recruits to an earlier age than ever before.

Terrelle Pryor, the No. 1-rated quar­terback in the class o f 2008 according to scout.com, has been in contact with Penn State University since he was in ninth grade. The rationale for this be­ing that the earlier contact is made, the more likely a recruit is to think that the college actually cares about him.

When a college isn’t the first one to contact a player, they make up for it with increased vigilance. This vigi­lance can take a variety o f forms.

In December o f 2001, the University o f Colorado hosted several recruits on a visit to their campus. In order to as­sure these teenage boys had a good time, one o f the team’s recruiting aides solicited a prostitute. No doubt the recruits had a happy ending to their weekend in Boulder, Colo.

This year, Pryor has been the most sought-after recruit so far. In order to land him, the head coaches o f both Ohio State University and the Univer­sity o f Michigan have watched Pryor play a high school basketball game with his team. Apparently watching him play basketball is the key to get­ting him to play football.

-continued on page 21 - '

Sports Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 200$

Swim team heads to conference meet with high hopes

by Derek Thurberstaff writer

Representing W hitm an College, the men’s and women’s swim teams head o f f to the end-of-season, three-day conference m eet this weekend with high hopes.

“ Everyone on the team is swim­m ing very strong,” Assistant Coach Jam es Kennedy said. “We are very excited for the prospects at the con­ference m eet.”T h e women’s swim team won four

o f their duel meets and lost three inside the N orthw est D ivision I I I conference during the regular sea­son. T he men’s team won three o f their conference dual meets and lost four.

“We had a very good season both by the tim es the swum by the swim­mers and by the level o f com peti­tion ,” Kennedy said.

T he highlight o f the season, ac­

cording to Kennedy, was at the N orthw est Invitational m eet held on the first weekend in D ecem ber. B oth teams placed second at the invitational. The men’s team also barely beat the Linfield swim team at the invitational when they had lost to them earlier in the year.

N ot all o f the meets have gone as well as desired, with four losses on the men’s side and three on the women’s side.

“T his year has been kind o f a roller coaster year,” senior Clint C ollier said. “We have had some really great meets and some really bad ones.”

T he season has also been rough for some o f the individual members o f the team. Som e o f the swimmers, who w ill not be named at the request o f the swim team, have had to end their season short. T h is includes the head coach Jen n ifer Bloom e, who had com plications with her preg­nancy and so is spending spring in bed rest.

T he three assistant coaches, Jam es Kennedy; K athrine Curies, a W hit­man alum and Ned M orris, have been running the practices and training the team in Bloom e’s ab­sence.Bloom e has remained very close

to the developments o f the swim team while at home. T he meets are recorded for her to watch and she is still giving the assistant coaches the workout schedules for the day’s practice.

“She is really keeping on top o f ev­erything that is happening,” K en ­nedy said.

W ith the season behind them , the swimmers are now preparing for the conference m eet, at which most o f them w ill swim the best o f the season. T h e coaches train the entire season for this event.

T he conference m eet is a three-day event held near Seattle and includes all seven colleges in the region. T he m ornings o f each day are the

preliminary rounds for that day’s events. I f a swimmer ranks in the top 16 swimmers in the prelim inary rounds, that swimmer must return in the evening to swim in either the conciliation i f ranked between eighth and 16th in the prelims or the finals i f ranked in the top seven in the prelims.

T he W hitm an team is not expected to rank among the top two on either the men’s or the women’s side but are in contention for the third and fourth place rankings.

“B oth the men’s and women’s [teams] should be able to fin ish in the top three or four,” C ollier said.

I f individual swimmers complete their race in a certain amount o f tim e they could qualify to go to the national m eet later in the spring. Som e o f the W hitm an swimmers are close to qualifying, Kennedy said, and they m ight have a chance o f m aking the national qualifying time at the conference meet.

Members of the swim team cheer on their teammates at last year’s Northwest Conference Championships, held at Whit­man's Paul Harvey Pool. The men's and women's excellent seasons so far have been a buildup toward this weekend's Championships, to be held at the King County Aquatic Center in Federal Way, Wash.

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Sports21

Super Bowl XLII: Giants 17, Patriots 14'Non-Shock Jocks' Talk: Super Bowl upset

by Brian Woods and Eli Asch, sports colunists

Campus parties about much more than footballASCH:

I f writing can be therapeutic, then I should start working on my own “War and ' Peace”/“Atlas Shrugged”-length treatise on disappointment. A bit o f my soul died with 35 seconds left in the Su­per BowL C’mon, Eli Manning? I mean, Eli motherbleeping Manning?!?

You know what I think ofwhen I think o f Eli Manning: There’s a scene in the movie “Varsity Blues” where Moxxon, the backup quarterback, is about to enter the game, and they cut to a shot o f him on the sidelines apparently studying the playbook, only to have his coach rip away the binder and reveal an open copy of “Slaughterhouse Five” inside it that he’s actually been working on. That’s how I think o f Eli Manning— not throwing Super Bowl-winning touchdown passes with only 35 seconds left on the clock.

And this guy outplayed Tom Brady, outsmarted evil super-genius Belichick and picked apart the Patriots to the tune o f 152 yards and a pair o f TD s in the. fourth quarter? Let’s talk about the San­tana and Pau Gasol trade, or how good the PAC-10 really is this year, or whether Tiger Woods has a shot at -the Grand Slam this year (or even if he’s complicit in allowing racism to run rampant in the golf community)— anything but this. DAMMIT!WOODS:Those side topics might have to wait for

our radio show, because we’ve got to start with what just happened in Super Bowl X LII. I’m still in shock. How did the Giants’ defense hold that record-setting Patriots offense to seven points through the first 55 minutes o f the game, and to only 14 points overall??? In case you were wondering, yes, that is their lowest scoring output o f the season, and I can’t believe it Brady didn’t look comfortable at all until that last drive. That’s when they put him in the shotgun formation and him and Wes Welker (Super Bowl record 11 catches) picked the Giants de­fense apart like every other defense they

had faced all year. Before that drive, the Giants pass rush and blitzing schemes really had Brady on his heels, or on his back. In the third quarter I started thinking, “The Giants defense can’t pos­sibly keep this up much longer; Eli’s go­ing to have to do something soon.” As it turns out, the defense held Brady and company in check just long enough, only allowing one more score and Eli worked some real magic in those last few min­utes-. That third down scramble-tumed- hail-mary from Manning to Tyree is a play that you’ll be seeing for a long time, Eli, both in your nightmares and on ESPN.ASCH:Seriously, Brian, enough; I ’m sorry your

‘Hawks got knocked out in blizzard in Green Bay, but you don’t need to rub this loss in my face.

The thing about this upset is although neither o f us predicted it, everybody knew the Giants’ personnel matched up as well as anyone with the Pats’. Also, New England hadn’t dominated over the last couple months like it did in Sep­tember and October, and although I expressed skepticism last week, it seems that Brady’s ankle injury actually af­fected his play. He wasn’t as shifty in the pocket as usual, and the (Giants used their pass rush constantly to.get through a noticeably-ratded Patriots O-line to put pressure on Brady.

Brady was sacked five times in the game, hurried a dozen more, and seem­ingly spent the entire game tasting the University o f Phoenix Stadium’s turf. Last week in this same space we both said that the Giants pass rush could keep them in the game; we just didn’t believe it would actually win it for them. WOODS.While I’m not buying the excuse that

his ankle was affecting his play, the rest o f your analysis sounds spot-on. The Pa­triots by no means dominated their last five games the way they did their first five. And even though Eli Manning

won it for the Giants, their pass rush was the difference in the game. To be fair, it would have been special to see a team go undefeated even if I wasn’t really rooting for the Patriots. But the Giants earned this one and I’m just grateful we got such, a thrilling game to watch.

A couple more things on the tag game before we wrap up: First off, where does this win direct Eli Manning’s career to next? He got to the Super Bowl quicker and won it at a younger age than his big brother, Peyton, but which one do you see getting back their sooner? And secondly, does this put the Giants as a favorite for next season as well? Could we see a Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl next February? I think both teams have to like their chances. Barring some major injuries to Dwight Freeney and Marvin Harrision on the Colts, we re­alistically could have seen that matchup this season. So next year, with coach Tony Dungy committing to one more year and with a fresh, healthy start, the Colts have a legitimate shot. And with their youth at running back in Brandon Jacobs and at receiver with Steve Smith, I think the Giants could make another run in the weaker NFC. O f course this is all speculation, because I can’t name anyone, non-shock jock or not, who pre­dicted last February that Eli Manning would be winning the Super Bowl MVP in a year’s time.ASCH:Yeah, I ’m still having a tough time

wrapping my head around this. This is a Giants team that a (very knowledgeable) Giants fan friend o f mine called, after week 14, the worst 9-4 team he’d ever seen . . . and now they’te Super Bowl Champions? And they stopped the pre-anointed greatest team of all time, the 18-0 Patriots? It’s going to be a cold couple o f weeks in New England. But it’ll be O K soon— the defending World Series champion Red Sox’s pitchers and catchers report to camp on February 14th.

by Lisa Curtis green pages editor

Super Bowl Sunday is not about football. After conducting a careful investigation o f Superb Bowl par­ties, I have concluded that there are four key ingredients: food, facepaint, friends and frantic yelling.The food must be easy to eat and

available in large amounts. One-syl­lable foods are preferable: chips, dip, cheese and guac. The Superbowl is the perfect excuse to mindlessly munch; it is after all, an American tradition.After the food has been success­

fully, and preferably, prepared in large bowls easy to pass around— it is time to amp up the football spirit. It doesn’t really matter which team you are rooting for or even i f you are rooting for any team in particular.

“I f they’re losing, I ’m not rooting for them,” said sophomore Alex Kerr.

“I ’m doing all offense,” said junior Sina Yeganeh in response, to allega­tions that he had switched teams.

It was an especially easy to root for both teams this year as they had the same colors. Much artistic license was taken with facepaint, result­ing in flowers, footballs, hearts and flags.“There is an explosion o f patrio­

tism on my face,” said sophomore Obreanna McReynolds, referring to the multi-colored flower on her cheek.

The facepaint should be applied liberally and without brushes. The more abstract the design, the bet­ter. Footballs resembling strawberry cheesecake were especially popular at one Super Bowl party in particu­lar.

In the sake o f fairness, it is custom­

ary to paint the face o f the person who painted your face. This also helps cut down on the amount o f gi­ant penises that get painted.

Friends are crucial to this endeavor. As mentioned above, it is not neces­sary that they know anything about either team or even care about foot­ball in general.

“The Super Bowl is an excuse to yell'and get mad about things that don’t matter,” said sophomore Cris- tine Tennant.

Even the commercials provoked loud commentating and cheering. The local commercials got the most responses; many accused a Yakima commercial o f being sexist. This led to a discussion o f sexism that ended in some interesting conclusions.

“I think Super Bowl comniercials say a lot about American culture,” said junior Jesse Phillips “Super Bowl Sunday is the day o f

the most spousal abuse,” said sopho­more Annie Roberts.

There was a slight silence until someone walked in with yet more food and then the conversation re­sumed. Then Tom Brady scored a touchdown, erasing all traces o f in- tellectualism from the conversation. “I ’m only watching the game in

hopes that Tom Brady falls out o f his jockstrap,” said sophomore Andrew Witherspoon.

Tom Petty’s performance o f “Free Falling” struck a chord with many o f the girls in the Super Bowl audience, resulting in a five-minute interpreta­tive dance in front o f the television. The end o f the Super Bowl was

a call back to reality. Many o f the Super Bowl audience headed out towards the library, voices slightly hoarse and belts overly tight, but all satisfied with their participation in this crucial American tradition.

Recruiting: Book reveals tactics used to lure Mcknight from LSU-continued from page 20-

Coaches will stop at nothing to land a player they want.

In 2007, Bruce Feldman wrote a book “Meat Market: Inside the Smash- Mouth World o f College Football Recruiting” chronicling the recruit­ing process o f fooner Ole Miss Head

& r v * w % * v * i V i t,-

Coach Ed Orgeron. In his book, Feld­man tells o f how Orgeron and his staff tried to lure No. 1-rated running back prospect Joe McKnight from Louisi­ana State University.

Orgeron’s plan was to call Pete Car- roll, head coach o f University o f South­ern California, and convince him to recruit McKnight. Orgeron hoped that the sudden interest from USC wouldj .-H 1 I fts f f l !-S.3f>G»3

confuse McKnight enough so that he’d forget his earlier interest in the LSU Tigers. This would leave the door open to Orgeron to swoop in and speak gen­tly to the distraught McKnight so that he would be the only coach that M cK­night trusted.

The plan didn’t work, but that didn’tstop Orgeron and his staff at Ole Missfrom trying.j . , .i f 1.' * 4 •J.S i > A-t'i Vlntf srH .

The most common way that coaches try to establish a relationship with a re­cruit is through repeated phone calls to the player’s cell phone or home phone. In these calls, coaches deliver a pre­pared rhetoric that has been tailored to each player’s specific interests. Coach­es are only allowed one Call a week, but the best players get calls from 20 to 30teams a week. ,

a* i L »■

Before last year, when text messaging was banned, coaches used to be able to send an unlimited number o f texts to every player. One recruit woke up from a night’s rest to 53 new text messages.

In any other social arena, a middle- aged man would get arrested for show­ing that sort o f interest in a teenaged boy. And this is our national pastime.

* i t-6' *iir d si K * Vi • arfV v

22Life Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

Whitman appreciationMaking a list of a few sim ple items may help students

take less for granted in the 'Whitman bubble'

by Lauren Adler

columnist

When I first arrived on the Whitman College campus for the beginning o f second semester, I was disgustingly happy, an overexcited 6-year-old entering the gates o f Disneyland, Mickey Mouse ears lopsided on her head, a Pixie Stick in one hand and a pickle in the other. My eyes were wide and wonder-filled. Everything was beautiful. Ev­erything was magical. Everything was CLEAN . Being abroad .was great and all, but hell* welcome back to the happiest place on earth.

For the first 10 days, I was that annoyingly eu­phoric 6 -year-old about everything— Fire and Spice, the stairs in Maxey, the ducks— highly ir­ritating my friends who had stayed around for fall semester. I wore proverbial beer goggles; I was at­tracted to everything around me— the boy from my freshman year Environmental History class, Jewett still looking like a missing part o f the State Penitentiary, even the library (God help me).

I t was the first time I experienced affectionate feelings toward the city o f Walla Walla. I lovingly gazed at the street names: Al­der, Main and Isaacs, all tast­ing sweet on my lips. I even came pretty close to smooch­ing the walls o f Sweet Basil when Stephanie (yes, I know the names o f the SB staff) forked out a steaming cheese pie with those little ricotta clumps. No lie, I thought— the happiest place on earth, and I'll-be damned i f I ever graduate. They'll have to peel me out o f here with a spatu­la.

It's a sad but scientifically proven fact that all trips to Disneyland eventually end— so predictably, after those blissful 10 days, my reborn love for Whit­man seemed less like reality and more and more like a hallucinogenic high that I was violently tumbling out of.

And then it seemed like I never left. The rou­tine kicked in: get up, go to class, eat, go to the gym, shower, class, eat, library, same faces, same faces, same faces. Not that I don't immensely en­joy those same faces, but it’s easy to get lost in the daily grind o f Whitman (or anywhere else for that matter).

Thus, in order to prevent spending my remaining years at Whitman in one-dimensional routine and monotony, I have decided it is important to add a little dash o f perspective to my days. Appre­ciate the small things. You know, cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels and doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles. Except it doesn't have to be that nauseating. So, they prob­ably won't be the same as yours, but (sing along now) these are a few o f my favorite things:

1. iPods. Easy to take for granted and under­standably so— they dwell in cargo pockets and purses as common as old Kleenexes and Chap- sticks. But really, consider the little square thing somewhere between the size o f a matchbook and a deck o f cards holding virtually any song you could ever want. Life is no longer like a box o f chocolates-— it's an eight gig Nano on shuffle. One minute you are dozing to Jack Johnson crooning, “and on and on and on and on it goes,” and the next minute it’s “H A R D ER ! B E T T E R ! FA STER! STR O N G E R!” and D aft Punk is bang­ing on a cowbell. Brilliant.

2. Online episodes. N o, you don’t have to wait a whole week for another installment o f Jim and Pam. You can get addicted to T V shows at your convenience. I applaud the ingenuity o f NBC. com— thanks to them, I am now a not-so-proud- but-dedicated viewer o f “Friday Night Lights.”' Embarrassing, but true.

3. Wool socks; They are the answer to the most pressing problem o f humanity, which is, quite obviously, cold feet. Unfortunate that I have only just discovered them, when I grew up in the Northwest and thereby have lived nearly 21 years

in soggy socks.4. Friends getting cof­

fee. Now this is tough. I t’s hard to decide whether I mean Phoebe and Chandler in Central Perk, New York or my “real people” friends in Coffee Perk, Walla Wal­la. I might have to go with the latter, because there’s not a warm fuzzy in the world that beats drinking chai while vehemently ar­guing whether or not 10 Jake Kinstlers could beat up 50 Cent.

5. Cookies. Oatmeal and with milk, specifically. Cookies are a foolproof way to make anyone feel like the 6-year-old with Pixie Stick and pickle, probably even in 30 years when I ’ve just paid the bills and I ’m two shim­mies away from menopause.6. Lack of zits. N ext time you look in the mir­

ror, pick put every spot where you D O N ’T have a pimple, then give it the love and praise it de­serves for being so flawlessly worthy o f a Maybel- lene commercial. Because I guarantee you, once an angry red sucker rises from the depths o f skin hell, you will wish you hadn't taken that non-zit for granted.

7. Tea. Green in the morning, herbal at night. That’s some soul-warming shit.8. Lastly, brown paper packages tied up with

string. Especially the ones that say A D L E R , L and come from the Reid basement mailroom.

Make your own list, I promise it will go a long way toward alleviating the all-too-common W hit­m an doldrums.. »

m , in order to prevent

spending my rem aining

years at W hitman in

one-dim ensional routine

and monotony, I have

decided it is im portant

to add a little dash o f

perspective to my dayp p

Tzimmes:Delicious, cheap and healthy

by Lizzie Porter-Rothcolumnist

I 'v e decided to w rite a colum n about food. G ood food. Easy food . So rt o f seasonal. P retty cheap. M ostly good for you.

Why am I qualified to do this? W ell, I love food. N ot just eating it, although th a t’s pretty fu n ... Bu t the whole thing. Chopping the vegetables. M ixing s tu ff with my hands. T h e way the k itchen sm ells while the food is cooking.

I don't know i f I ’m a particu larly good cook ; I ’ve made my fair share o f fla t b is­cu its. B u t I thought it m ight be fun to have a d ifferen t'recip e every week, w hich I hope fits the m ood o f the week.I hope you try some o f these, and don’t

hesitate to let-me know i f you liked it or not, or i f you have any ideas about a su b je c t for my colum n.

T h is week’s recipe is for a dish called tzim m es. T h e idea is that you com bine yams, carro ts, dried fru it and some oth er stu ff, and then bake it for a good long tim e.

Maybe you haven't heard o f th is, perhaps because it is traditionally made by and for Jew ish people, o f whom I count m yself one. A lthough my m other is Jew ish and I grew up in a culturally Jew ish environm ent, I ’m not as g ood w ith the tech n icalities o f the religion. O ne th ing my m om and I are good at is the food.

Tzim m es was usually served at holiday gath­erings such as Rosh H ashanah.I'v e always liked it because it's very sw eet w ithout hav­ing any sugar, and it has a nice tartness that balances it out.I t ’s a great side dish, especially served warm during the w in­ter. I chose it as my firs t recipe because it re­flects the goals o f this colum n:Easy, cheap, seasonal, good food.T h is beautifu l

dish feeds a lot o f people; it's good for brin g­ing to potlucks or to keep in the fridge and eat for a few days.

Tz im m e s

5 yams and/or sweet potatoes, peeled and sliced into 1-inch cubes

2 large carrots, peeled and sliced 1 unpeeled apple, sliced1 onion, chopped2 cups chopped dried fruit (apricots,

raisins, craisins, prunes)Ju ice from one lemon 2/3 cup orange ju ice (about 2 orang­

es)1 cup apple juice 1 tsp. saltVz tsp. ground cinnam on p tsp. ginger powder V4Ttsp. nutmeg% cup fine bread crum bs or m atzoh

meal (optional)'

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.< 2 . Place all ingredients (except for the bread crum bs, i f you’re using them) into a big bowl and toss them all together.

3. Em pty the bowl into a big casserole or baking pan. Sprinkle with bread crum bs over the top. Cover with foil. Bake for 1V2-2 hours, or until every­thing is tender and cooked through.

KC Penpalsby Kaitlin Phillips ft

Caitlin Tortorici columnists

Lovely Readers,You may have noticed that we did not have a column

in last week's newspaper. O r maybe you didn't notice at all, but that's okay too. This mainly happened because C aitlin and I forgot to re-apply fo r the’Pio. We are much chagrined.

C aitlin is in Italy. This is tragic fo r many reasons. However, being stubborn, unaccommodating people, we have refused to let our column die. I t amuses us too much, and gives us an extra thing to procrastinate about. So, we present you with the fir s t K C Penpals. Enjoy being voyeuristic.

~K C M asterpiece

D ear Sweet K o f KC Masterpiece,

My longing for you I truly cannot put into words. Sometimes I wake up at night, scream­ing your name. I long for pur days in B Suite, for your tenor voice bellowing- below my so­prano in the student lounge, your carnal cries meeting mine through the paper-thin wall sep­arating our rooms. Daily, I listen to “Legally Blonde— the Musical,” remembering the sweet day we held each other as it played on MTV.

Nevertheless, Florence fías thus far proved a most excellent time. I live in a lovely apart­ment with three lovely apartmates. We have had many adventures thus far.

H I start with those involving excrement.

1. Our first day here, I came down with what seemed to be the dysentery from any one o f ' cheese, tap water, or the large man beside me on the airplanes who ate stinky omelets and snored when he wasn’t asleep. I t actually proved an excellent icebreaker.

2. Our second day here, during a vicious rain­storm, a sewage pipe exploded feet away from Aryan apartmate, Em m a, and a turd landed in her hair. (Fun fact: In Italy, when a car hits your or sewage explodes on you, it is consid­ered your fault.)

3. Today, Em m a clogged a toilet in “Bar Royale,” a snack bar near school. An Italian café attendant attempted to dissuade her from using the broken toilet, but Em m a, unversed in Italian, paid no mind. Note: Clogging a toilet in Italy is a huge deal. The plumbing system is centuries old and plumbers are tardy and few in number. From fear that Bar Royale will find a way to charge her, Emma will now take a dif­ferent route to school.

The ones involving clothes:

1. The apartmates and I cannot read Italian. Thus, we purchased floor cleaner instead o f dishwashing fluid. This only proved mildly disastrous. It was later when we purchased floor cleaner instead o f laundry detergent that things got heavy. Nearly all o f our clothes are now'&p’b'ftbd with bleach. ' .

February 7, 2008 Whitman College Pioneer Life2 3

: Foreign correspondence edition2. We have no drier. We hang our clothes out­

side on a line. One o f my bleached shirts fell o ff the line and down, down, down three floors to the pit below. Much to my pant-wetting aston­ishment, small Asian apartmate Alyssa formed a fishing line from retired clothing line and extension cords and fished the shirt out. You’d best believe I caught that shit on video.

3. All o f my apartmates and I have all pur­chased buttery leather jackets, crotched hats, pashmina scarves and gloves without fingers from street vendors. See: Facebook.

As for men:

1. Our first week here a 30-year-old man named Mark more or less lived with us. We met him through Katnryn, a friend o f Asian apart­mate Alyssa’s who “crashed” on our couch for eight days and is known in our apartment as “Cray Cray.” Mark, originally from Canada, made a living gambling in Vegas for several years before he moved to the Cayman Islands and became a drug dealer. He cooked delicious dinners o f pasta with broccoli cream sauce, among his many services.

2. We met a man in the street last week. He gave us a flier for the club, YA B (You Are Beautiful). I f you have seen the flash video, “The End o f the World” (albinoblacksheep. com/flash/end), this man actually talks like the voice in that video. His name is Valeri. I laughed very hard when I learned this. Days later, I located his flyer in my bag. My apart­mates and I decided to call him, mainly for the purpose o f laughing at his voice. However, he ended up convincing us to attend the YAB event, where we ate for free and drank for a fortune and danced like everyone was watch­ing. We plan to attend Y A B again this Wednes­day. Note: Valeri is hot, even though he wea'rs jackets with foot-high wool collars.

Men in Italy, in general, are something indeed. I tell them l am from Hollywood (which is 15 minutes away from true) and see their eyes near burst from their sockets. They are loud and shamelessly complimentary. They love blonde people. Emma won us a V IP card to Florence’s best clubs after enduring only a minor ass grab from a bouncer.

I am afraid that is all for now, K aitlin dear­est. I ’ll tell you about my glorious field trip to Rome next letter. I hope you’re keeping W hitman sexy. I trust you are. G et some man. Hug everyone that matters. T ill next week, my love.

Kisses,C

Darling Caitlin,

This is truly torture. Today, some innocent sophomore tapped me on the shoulder and sweetly asked, “W here is Caitlin?” I nearly dis­solved in her arms. People ask me i f I am miss­ing you, and I joke or give them a bitter smile in return. They cannot understand my pain. No oneshas barged into my house recently,'crying

“Satan!” loudly up the stairs. My housemates, wonderful as they all are, do not tell me long stories about the functions o f their most pri­vate parts. Though, truthfully, the lack o f that doesn’t actually make me that sad.

Things here at W hitman are fairly routine, and tend to fall into one o f two categories.

The weather:

1. Before the semester began, there was a terrifying windstorm that felled several W hitman trees and took out the paperclip statues. Clearly, G od is' punishing W hitman for not having enough symposiums.2. Recently, the entirety o f Walla Walla was

a massive sheet o f ice. Megan D uffy has a bruise the size o f a grapefruit on her posteri­or, and I too have suffered a humiliating fall. Luckily, no one witnessed it.

3. Now the entirety o f Walla Walla is blan­keted in snow. I would romp in it, but it’s wet and melty. Everyone from Seattle is whining

about it.4. No one in Walla Walla knows how to

drive.

The random:

1. A chunk o f Blake Saunders’ ro o f fell off.2. The Patriots lost the Super Bowl. Thank

god.3. “Stardust” is quite possibly the cutest

movie ever made.4. I still don’t know most o f the freshmen.

They still look small.

I ’m sure much more has happened, my dar­ling, but I ’m not sure how much o f it is fit for public consumption. I hope your scan­dals continue to be scandalous and that Italy continues to be Italian. Return to me in one piece, or at least something approximating that.

Sexy makeouts,K

24

. m a m ® * ' - ■ •• - * a t& sw m • ©&a - • m s m m m & m m m m -Humor Whitman College Pioneer February 7, 2008

WRITERS STRIKE! !

■ The back page, never known for its timeliness; .has: just caught wind that the I Writers Guild of America has been OA Strike JSij' ffese of von.■ who doti’t like exaggeration for comédie effect, let’s, just say these 13 or so weeks ;

have felt like it. 'We liete ätithe. Pio Itaÿe.-suffered no less.

STRIKE BLOG!December 9, 2007 -i .•-? ■

Damn, we wish there were some holiday specials on. TV has be- §11 come a parched desert where good stuff used to be on once in a while. Now there’s just sand. Word is coming down from the grape­vine that new reality shows are going to be coming on the air to replace scripted shows. Case in point:

M y S t r i k e ^ B e a r j i l s B e t t e r T h a n Y o u r S t r i k e B e a r d !

My heard if .1 wmkinp replica ■ Bavarian village! i,

( ) b l t d ! 1'

Mi heard cars phnlunn'

Mv beard is so real, Don Quixote once tried to stab 1 1 with a lance!

•' ' V-'|§ ..... 111161E' , -h • • ; j-is-so attractive it. was.''married to Ursula the Sea Witch!

•• • • ...and so on. f ‘ v'J ‘ •January 3, 200$

i S & ' ’ 'f$* I ® ® ( I ' ',U\t \ ^ 'We were thrilled to hear that a late-night host had crossed the picket lines to make TV awesome again "An o asis'” we thought, dryly*Then we heard the show coming hacic was la 't Call with Carson

- D a i y . * v / ' V . . - / ■ ; ;

*A prime example of a Tom Swifty.. Actually tru e .; v i " . v . B B B M M B I B B B lI lM E

m

February 7, 2008

'5 CABS! SCABS! We're out.1 ii.. ...... „■ 1 — , ----------- --- I S B — —

Super bowl recap:By defeating the Patriots, the New York Giants definitively

prove that they hate America.

"I HATE LIBERTY!!"

"Every time you sack Tom Brady, a puppy getsput down."- Tom Brady

"Where am I?" - Tom Petty

See that? That's the empty space where the good ads should have been. Stupid writers strike.